Comments on: How Being Apart Can Strengthen A Relationship http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/ Online travel magazine dedicated to exploring travel in the 21st century. Offering travel news, compelling interviews, online travel tools, and more. Mon, 22 Mar 2010 02:15:16 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Anna http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-96032 Anna Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:59:07 +0000 http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/#comment-96032 Another late replier, but i just read this and had to say something! This is my exact situation right now, my boyfriend of a year has left to travel South America for 3 months. He booked the trip before we started going out and it ended up being impossible for me to join (work, time, money contraints) although I tried. I ended up planning my own trip with a girlfriend, leaving in a couple of weeks. He's about a month into the trip and everything is starting to fall apart.. I can't help being so resentful at the whole situation! Every time we talk or email lately it's quite upsetting and hurting us both. I know I'm being way too selfish and my behaviour is ruining his trip but for some reason the only way I can find to deal with him is to treat him coldly and everything comes out so negatively. I don't even know what I would change exactly or what he's done wrong (apart from leaving!), because I understand how it is travelling and how you can't phone or email all the time and I certainly wouldn't have him cut his trip short. We've both definitively ruled out taking a break but staying together is not easy, especially given that communication is infrequent and when we do email it ends in disaster. For the first time ever I'm almost wishing we were broken up and had nothing to do with each other. Hopefully we'll make it, I mean it's only 3 months.. then again, it's 3 long months.... (Apologies for the rant, so many emotions!!) Another late replier, but i just read this and had to say something!

This is my exact situation right now, my boyfriend of a year has left to travel South America for 3 months. He booked the trip before we started going out and it ended up being impossible for me to join (work, time, money contraints) although I tried. I ended up planning my own trip with a girlfriend, leaving in a couple of weeks.

He’s about a month into the trip and everything is starting to fall apart.. I can’t help being so resentful at the whole situation! Every time we talk or email lately it’s quite upsetting and hurting us both. I know I’m being way too selfish and my behaviour is ruining his trip but for some reason the only way I can find to deal with him is to treat him coldly and everything comes out so negatively. I don’t even know what I would change exactly or what he’s done wrong (apart from leaving!), because I understand how it is travelling and how you can’t phone or email all the time and I certainly wouldn’t have him cut his trip short. We’ve both definitively ruled out taking a break but staying together is not easy, especially given that communication is infrequent and when we do email it ends in disaster. For the first time ever I’m almost wishing we were broken up and had nothing to do with each other.

Hopefully we’ll make it, I mean it’s only 3 months.. then again, it’s 3 long months….

(Apologies for the rant, so many emotions!!)

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]]> By: Marie http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-90592 Marie Tue, 05 May 2009 21:39:40 +0000 http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/#comment-90592 Reading this, and being almost to a week of going home has made me appreciate and really look at what I did over the past 5 months. My significant other is still at home waiting, and yes, it was difficult, there were days I would have given anything to be with him. But at the same time I learned so much about being somewhere else, that I can do this, I can be on my own. Not that I'm not looking forward to seeing him when I get back, of course! I believe we are both stronger because of it, and I wish any couple the best of luck on this adventure; it's worth it in the end. Reading this, and being almost to a week of going home has made me appreciate and really look at what I did over the past 5 months. My significant other is still at home waiting, and yes, it was difficult, there were days I would have given anything to be with him. But at the same time I learned so much about being somewhere else, that I can do this, I can be on my own. Not that I’m not looking forward to seeing him when I get back, of course! I believe we are both stronger because of it, and I wish any couple the best of luck on this adventure; it’s worth it in the end.

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]]> By: Teresa http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-88329 Teresa Sun, 22 Mar 2009 03:40:28 +0000 http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/#comment-88329 I couldn't agree anymore. My s/o is leaving very soon for the year and its been difficult up to now. Reading this article shed a lot of light towards our situation. You made a lot of valid points and its good to see that someone believes in relationships having a chance overseas! I couldn’t agree anymore. My s/o is leaving very soon for the year and its been difficult up to now. Reading this article shed a lot of light towards our situation. You made a lot of valid points and its good to see that someone believes in relationships having a chance overseas!

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]]> By: Traveling Solo: How to Tell Your Partner You Want to Travel…Alone | Global Visionent Travel Guides http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-80994 Traveling Solo: How to Tell Your Partner You Want to Travel…Alone | Global Visionent Travel Guides Wed, 07 Jan 2009 20:21:17 +0000 http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/#comment-80994 [...] already feel completely confident in the strength and trust between you. It’s arguable that time apart can strengthen a relationship, whether it needs it or not. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, [...] [...] already feel completely confident in the strength and trust between you. It’s arguable that time apart can strengthen a relationship, whether it needs it or not. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, [...]

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]]> By: Adrienne http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-58123 Adrienne Sat, 22 Mar 2008 07:44:38 +0000 http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/#comment-58123 I know this is a year late, but I just read this article, and had to comment. This tugs on my heartstrings...I went through these exact feelings during my trip to France two years ago. First time traveling outside of the country, and the first time leaving my boyfriend for so long. I was excited for my trip and both he and I knew how important it was for me to go, but I was so sad to leave him behind. "Occasionally missing out on things where you are, to be part of moments taking place thousands of miles away. And occasionally saying no to someone you love, to say yes to yourself." -- You put the words to my feelings and my experience of traveling without him. But, I had a wonderful trip, and the first time I saw his face again back in the States was well worth it, and nothing short of amazing. :) I know this is a year late, but I just read this article, and had to comment.

This tugs on my heartstrings…I went through these exact feelings during my trip to France two years ago. First time traveling outside of the country, and the first time leaving my boyfriend for so long. I was excited for my trip and both he and I knew how important it was for me to go, but I was so sad to leave him behind.

“Occasionally missing out on things where you are, to be part of moments taking place thousands of miles away. And occasionally saying no to someone you love, to say yes to yourself.” — You put the words to my feelings and my experience of traveling without him.

But, I had a wonderful trip, and the first time I saw his face again back in the States was well worth it, and nothing short of amazing. :)

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]]> By: Madeleine http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-6549 Madeleine Tue, 10 Jul 2007 02:04:56 +0000 http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/#comment-6549 Dave I am so glad things worked out - in long distance relationships when your whole partnership centres around a few written words or hasty conversations things can be blown out of proportion...but it's a great lesson for learning how to communicate effectively and how to ask for what you need from eachother. Good luck! Dave I am so glad things worked out – in long distance relationships when your whole partnership centres around a few written words or hasty conversations things can be blown out of proportion…but it’s a great lesson for learning how to communicate effectively and how to ask for what you need from eachother.
Good luck!

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]]> By: Dave http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-6225 Dave Tue, 03 Jul 2007 19:37:12 +0000 http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/#comment-6225 Hey Madeleine, thanks for the advice! I did mention it in an e-mail, and he wrote back that his one and only phone call had been to his mom, but that the 5-second delay really made conversations difficult. He has been e-mailing almost every day, so I'm feeling better about it now. I guess I just needed to ask him! Hey Madeleine, thanks for the advice! I did mention it in an e-mail, and he wrote back that his one and only phone call had been to his mom, but that the 5-second delay really made conversations difficult.

He has been e-mailing almost every day, so I’m feeling better about it now. I guess I just needed to ask him!

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]]> By: Travel Minx http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-5768 Travel Minx Mon, 25 Jun 2007 20:04:22 +0000 http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/#comment-5768 In 2000 my boyfriend and I said a tearful goodbye at Zoo Station in Berlin as the train carried him back to New Zealand (well, to Frankfurt where he caught a plane). I was staying in Germany, I didn't know for how long, but we wanted to give the long-distance thing a try. Almost a year later, I flew back home but he'd visited me twice that year. Without those visits I don't know if we could have made it, but we're still together now! The experience definitely made our relationship stronger. In 2000 my boyfriend and I said a tearful goodbye at Zoo Station in Berlin as the train carried him back to New Zealand (well, to Frankfurt where he caught a plane). I was staying in Germany, I didn’t know for how long, but we wanted to give the long-distance thing a try. Almost a year later, I flew back home but he’d visited me twice that year. Without those visits I don’t know if we could have made it, but we’re still together now! The experience definitely made our relationship stronger.

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]]> By: Madeleine http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-5764 Madeleine Mon, 25 Jun 2007 18:57:37 +0000 http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/#comment-5764 hey Dave, I don't know the relationship or you two as a couple, but in a word: yes. Yes you have a right to feel hurt and annoyed, absolutely. When you're embarking on a long-distance relationship, communication really is the only thing holding that relationship together. In my opinion, emails aren't really enough unless you'd previously agreed that emailing wold be your only method of communication. Props to your man for being close to his mom, but it only takes five minutes to make a phone call to you. I say mention it calmly in your next email, "any chance of getting a phone call from you? I miss hearing your voice" and see where it goes from there. Lastly, have faith. Long distance is hard and requires a lot of negotiations. Be open and don't jump to conclusions. xoxo hey Dave,
I don’t know the relationship or you two as a couple, but in a word: yes. Yes you have a right to feel hurt and annoyed, absolutely.

When you’re embarking on a long-distance relationship, communication really is the only thing holding that relationship together. In my opinion, emails aren’t really enough unless you’d previously agreed that emailing wold be your only method of communication. Props to your man for being close to his mom, but it only takes five minutes to make a phone call to you.

I say mention it calmly in your next email, “any chance of getting a phone call from you? I miss hearing your voice” and see where it goes from there.

Lastly, have faith. Long distance is hard and requires a lot of negotiations. Be open and don’t jump to conclusions.
xoxo

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]]> By: Dave http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-5733 Dave Mon, 25 Jun 2007 06:53:04 +0000 http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2007/03/02/seriously-i-have-a-boyfriend/#comment-5733 What if your significant other is traveling, say through Southeast Asia, but has already been gone almost a month and hasn't phoned yet? I know he's phoned his mom, and I've been getting regular e-mails, but other than that, nada...Do I have any right to feel hurt/annoyed, or should I be chilling out? What if your significant other is traveling, say through Southeast Asia, but has already been gone almost a month and hasn’t phoned yet? I know he’s phoned his mom, and I’ve been getting regular e-mails, but other than that, nada…Do I have any right to feel hurt/annoyed, or should I be chilling out?

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