Traveling is all about meeting people on the road. But what happens if you want to get rid of one?
guest post by Travmonkey
Say you meet someone when traveling. You discover you’re both heading in the same direction so you decide that you’ll go together.
For a few days everything is going great — until you discover that your new travel partner is limiting your adventure, or even worse, annoying you with their bad habits.
There is only one thing to do, ditch them. While it sounds horrible, for the sake of both of you and your trip it’s probably best to go your separate ways.
Yes, you could have avoided this situation from the start by traveling alone, or by choosing the right travel partner to go with in the first place.
But If you find yourself with a partner that you can’t get on with, what is the best way to deal with such an awkward situation?
Here are a few tactics to lose your annoying travel mate:
The Ninja
I laughed when someone once told me this method on the road, but it does work. It requires you to wake up extra early in the morning.
It’s best practice to pack your bag the night before, but never ever make it too obvious (that could lead to a disastrous confrontation, no one wants that). Scatter a few pairs of dirty clothing around for good measure making it look like you’re there for the long haul.
As you wake early with your travel mate soundly asleep, you carefully climb down from your bunk, tip toe across the room, grab your rucksack and head for the nearest exit. You’ll be catching the early morning express out of there and away from the travel mate none the wiser.
The Arranger
This tactic can be executed in one of two ways; the honest way or the dishonest way. When you become entirely fed up with your travel partner, suggest that you both spend some time apart and perhaps meet up again in a few days, weeks or months.
Be warned: if you take the honest approach you’ll probably respond to all their emails and actually meet up with them at the specified time.
On the other hand, if you have no guilt about breaking your arrangement, you’ll probably ignore the emails and hope you don’t bump into them again somewhere down the line, so for now, freedom is yours.
The U-Turn
This has been a particular favourite of mine in the past. When you think it’s time to say “goodbye” to your travel mate, find out where they want to go next (make sure they are quite certain) then choose somewhere else in a different direction.
You can back up your decision by researching the new place that you intend visiting and then state why you find it so fascinating.
Hopefully they won’t turn around and suggest going with you, yet in that event, you’re justified in attempting The Sneaky Ninja instead.
In this situation if you try using “The Eager Traveller” it’s likely they’ll do anything to tag along with you for the day. On the other hand if your “U-Turn” policy goes according to plan you’re in the clear, bingo!
The Eager Traveler
Although it may not seem like it on the surface, this is even more sneaky than most other techniques.
Before you meet up with your travel mate in the morning, make sure that you have arranged everything you are going to do for the day.
Be sure to explain in detail every temple, every market, and every museum you want to explore. Offer to meet up for dinner in the evening. Usually by planning your itinerary to every last detail, they will feel intimidated just thinking about it, and stick with their own plan for the day.
If you continuously take this approach, you may find they’re sick of spending their time on there own and latch onto some other unsuspecting traveler.
The Angel
This last approach is for the honest traveler (aren’t we all?), which is the most noble option, but can become quite awkward if not executed properly.
You approach your travel mate, usually over a quiet drink or dinner and suggest that it would be better for both of you to go your separate ways.
Give your reasons and hope they don’t start bawling or explode with anger. Pat them on the arm, give them a hug, finish your pint, and walk away.
Sure it may be cold hearted, but you can meet so many different people whilst traveling and not everyone you meet will be a perfect travel partner for you. When you find yourself in this situation, honesty is the best policy, (though not quite as fun or satisfying).
Whichever tactic you decide to execute, you can both get on with the rest of your journeys instead of wasting your time being fed up and frustrated.
Paul Dow is an English, jobless, optimistic, monkey fan, late sleeper, green tea drinker, writer, web developer and soccer fan. Currently recovering and blogging from Australia after traveling solo for six months through China, Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam and Malaysia.About the Author
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20 Comments... join the discussion!
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Nice post. Makes me feel nasty just thinking about it. I hate travel partners you don’t know before your travels (meet-on-the-road partners).
I wrote about this before on my blog. I suggest to play it safe and steer-clear from people who suggest to travel together. There usually is a reason why they’re alone.
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I once met up with these two guys, a German and an American, in Portugal. The German guy had picked up the Yankee hitchhiking and had really had ENOUGH of him and was trying to ditch him. “It was okay at first,” he told me, “I really didn’t mind sharing my stuff with him. But when he asked me if he could borrow my TOOTHBRUSH…” Dunno how it ended because I took off early the next morning.
Swell post. Thanks.
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This is a funny, and useful post. While I wasn’t a full fledged travel buddy, I did get a feel for the Ninja approach last year when I arrived in a Guatemalan town with a guy after hanging with him at Tikal. I thought was staying a third night in the same bunkroom, however I awoke on the second morning to find him gone like the wind.
I think the Ninja move is the way to go! People are in no mood to talk, even if they do wake up at 6am, as you try to leave.
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ourman — wow, that’s definitely a case to ditch your travel mate…as a matter of personal safety.
timen — i think meeting people on the road is just like anywhere. best thing is to decide if they’re latent sociopaths or easy going enough that it won’t matter if you split ways now or later.
pam — yeah, toothbrush is asking too much.
dave — i like the ninja as well. quiet, calm, and no ugly confrontation…unless you get caught of course. (maybe just say you’re going to the bathroom?)
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I’m far to lazy to use the ninja, but I have been known to employ the U-Turn on occasions. It’s usually best when you haven’t got much in the way of a set plan or route.
Ourman, can’t believe someone would pull a knife! I’ve never travelled with anyone that extreme, cheesy feet, yes, knife, no.
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To be honest I find even the nicest people get on my nerves very quickly. Traveling on your own always seems to be a cycle of looking for company and then trying to ditch them.
It’s great to have someone to go for a beer with but the beautiful of lone traveling is making your own mind up about where you are going.
Sooner or later you just think f**k this…I’m off.
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Never had to ditch anyone yet, but I’ve heard a lot of stories about annoying travel mates. Who’s to know when you’e being annoying and someone’s trying to ditch you? Anyway, good stuff!
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I had this problem many times… It’s a real hassle, especially when you planned it for months.
Now I prefer to travel alone!
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Great post
I’ve used the “U-turn” to great effect on a “cool”, bandana-wearing oik I had the displeasure of offering a lift to (story here: http://www.yearinthelife.org/entry.php?id=326)
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Never trust a backpacker with a bandana – it should be the first rule of traveling.
Likewise people who wear those ridiculous utility belts designed only to make Americans appear even larger around the waist to incredulous local people.
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meeting annoying travel mates is just part of the whole deal, i reckon. plus they make for great travel stories later on…
a good way of getting rid of an annoying travel buddy is to go for a beer with him/her and then tell him/her all the ridiculous stories of former annoying travel mates.
just show them a mirror and a lot of them will suddenly not like you anymore that much and will take the first opportunity you give them to make their getaway.
it’s worked a few times before and if not, then i usually go for the ninja.
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Hey Steve, I emailed you ages ago before I started my trip, about China. Loved reading your travel blog very inspiring. Any new travel plans in the pipeline?
I think it would be even worse if it wasn’t a travel mate that you met on the road, but one you had chosen from home…..for example you couldn’t really pull off the ninja…. well you could but it’d be pretty harsh!
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Ah hello hello! Small world this intra-manet malarkey, isn’t it?
Trust you had a great time on your travels. Your article really made me chuckle – gonna have to check out your own blog…I ^always^ have travel plans :p Looking to take off on the Trans-Siberian, but probably not until October now… just in time for the -40 degrees C weather
Happy travels!
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Trans Siberian? Cool…I had a look at getting the Beijing that way…but bottled it. I think I may be returning to China at some point. It’s funny how much more confidence you obtain after travelling for a while.
I found China pretty amazing, really looking forward to South America where I should be heading in about 6 months time.
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The tactic you described as THE NINJA really works for me
you can really get rid of a travel mate who is too lame to travel with.
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I am going for the NINJA, problem being ive been travelling for 2 months with the same person from the UK, we booked our tickets together,,, But i cant take anymore of this, i need to run, So i am perpared to lose my ticket money and run staying in Asia
J
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The ninja move is a good one. Just make sure your friend isn’t also reading BNT and gets wind of your attempt…
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I never had to ditch a travel partner, but there are plenty of reasons for traveling alone in the first place. Unless someone is pulling a knife, blunt object or firearm, I think being straight up with them will prevent you from looking over your shoulder the rest of your trip.
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All of this sounds very passive-aggressive. There is no excuse to go sneaking off in the middle of the night , or spin a web of lies, unless you truly fear for your safety. It’s also a mean prank unless someone has truly been a j*ck*ss and knows it’s probably coming.
The best thing to do when someone is getting on your nerves is to grow a pair and tell them, flat-out (not in front of anyone). Tell them exactly what they are doing that is bothering you, and exactly how long they have to shape up before you will continue to enjoy your trip, alone. Then follow-through.
It sounds like an ultimatum, but it is an opportunity for both. If you are so bothered by something that your partner is doing that it makes you want to steal away in the night, you should probably mention it. Sooner rather than later.
Chances are, they will learn that they have to respect you, and you might make a friend who doesn’t annoy you so much anymore.
If that fails or you truly are dealing with a ‘latent sociopath’ (I love that!), then the other stuff might be fun.
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