Think the only qualities that make a vacation are foreign food and accents? Think again.
I was reading a magazine today that claimed (in large, bold script on the front cover no less) to offer ten tips on how to have a fabulous vacation without ever leaving your house.
Intrigued, as those crafty devils who wrote the byline intended no doubt, I opened the magazine to page 42 and skimmed the article.
The conclusion I reached at the end of the brave little piece, was this (and let’s skip the niceties and be brutally honest here): people simply don’t plan half-assed vacations.
People don’t scrimp and save and book time off work to sit around their apartments and pretend to be on holiday.
I’m all for appreciating where you are and what you have and no one knows better than me that nothing beats unplugging the phone and sitting around butt-naked eating goat cheese and drinking wine – but I don’t call that a vacation do I? No, I simply call it Sunday afternoon.
We vacation on the other hand, to leave the ordinary and the known, to experience new things and new people. We vacation to get away from it all, not simply pretend that we are. My point is, the end goal of a trip is to actually go somewhere, right?
Brilliant In Theory
I’ll give the writer credit though, she was excited about this idea or very skilled at pretending she was. Her words bounced off the page as she offered tips on buying plush “hotel-quality” robes and exotic bath oils to evoke a restful spa week “right in your own bathroom!”
Like communism, this is an idea that is brilliant in theory only. The thinking is, “Who doesn’t love bath oils and plush robes?” But come on, really?
Where’s the sleek receptionist and the cool slate tiled hallway? Where’s the darkened room and massage table, the masseur with strong capable hands? Where’s the joy in plush robes and an exotic oiled bath when you’re the one laundering the bathrobe and trying in vain to rinse the oil off the sides of the tub the next morning?
The article continues in the same vein for a page and a half with well meaning advice on: ordering in all week to substitute for that “expensive overseas cuisine” in Italy and Greece.
Foreign language film rentals are subbed in for being immersed in a different language and culture.
Taking in the art at a local gallery instead of the renowned Louvre in Paris; setting up a lounge chair in your backyard, margarita in hand, in lieu of relaxing on the beaches of Mexico; a page and a half of these cheap, half-assed ideas.
Quite frankly, it was irritating. Contrary to this woman’s opinion, I, like many of you, can tell the difference between a Greek salad ordered from the take-out joint down the street and one made in Greece.
I am well aware of the fact that real life does not occur within the frame of a 27″ television screen, nor does it have subtitles. Perhaps most importantly, nothing, nothing is better than real Mexican tequila.
So. Where does that leave a poor workhorse who longs for some time off?
Well I won’t write a page and I half on the subject but I will tell you this much, if you are broke and have no money for a vacation, you needn’t spend what little you do have on take-out and movie rentals.
The Real Budget Getaway
There are indeed other options and rest assured they don’t involve you leaving a cringe worthy message on your machine to the effect of “Sorry, I’m not in right now. I’m spending a week at the exclusive resort ‘Chez Moi’…”
In order to truly tackle a budget getaway you either choose an inexpensive vacation or you simply pool what funds you can, pop it into a higher interest bank account (ING has a great one offering 3.5% as opposed to the .05% most banks offer) and save until you can afford a proper trip – complete with actual air travel.
But if your cubicle is closing in on you and you think you might fatally injure your alarm clock tomorrow morning, consider the budget travel options.
Enlist your trusty car or a greyhound and visit the friends you’ve been promising you would since they moved three years ago. Accommodation is free, food is usually provided and all you have to shell out for is cash for drinks and a nice thank-you gift (being broke is no excuse for being rude!)
Alternately, pick a place about a day’s drive away and spend some time taking in the local colour. If you have a car and your seats fold down, you won’t need a hotel and if you’re taking the bus just splurge on a $50 pup tent and you’re set.
Speaking of tents, I’m not so much the outdoorsy type (I once brought stainless steel martini glasses on a camping trip) but I hear that some like it rough, so if you’re up to it, tackle a hike in the backwoods of your area.
You’ll be getting a great workout and I have a girlfriend who swears she never sleeps better than on the hard ground under the stars.
Whatever you do, for the love of vacations promise me it won’t involve turning up your thermostat to simulate a tropical climate or writing postcards to your family and friends from your living room.
Madeleine Somerville is a big city girl living in small city British Columbia, where she works as a newpaper columnist. She has travelled to Thailand and Japan and most recently came back from a few months of sun and sand Down Under. About the Author
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12 Comments... join the discussion!
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thanks darlin
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I agree with what you are saying, but many people can’t seem to get away for whatever reason. I mean it is easy to save for a great trip when you are in the position to, but some people can’t. What if you can’t afford to go on a great vacation more than every 3 years, what do you do in the meantime?
I am sure Greek Salads in Greece are great, but I am sure I have had some really great ones made by Greek people who are now in America. Depending on where you live, it is possible to have an international quality to your life without ever leaving your neighborhood. Don’t get me wrong Madeleine, I toally agree with what you are saying here – a chance to get away, truely away and be immersed in a culture different from your own is a teacher that you cannot get by sitting in your house in a plush bathrobe watching foreign fils on PPV, but for people who can’t afford the trip, it is nice to give people other ways of expnading their minds. You never know what adventure awaits out your back door!
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oh Jenn, I totally hear you on the not-bring-able-to-afford-a-vacay front, but seriously if you had $100 to spend on a bit of time off, wouldn’t you rather drive like an hour outside your city and go camping or even spend the night in a hotel rather than sitting in your living room pretending to be somewhere else?
I’m all for treating yourself to exotic foods and different movies, and I agree that you can find amazing, incredible foreign foods right at your doorstep but in my humble opinion these experiences are great diversions in an otherwise dull day, not vacations.
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I do agree that I would spend the money differently. But people have different degrees of being comfortable and getting people to explore other cultures sometimes have to use baby-steps to get there, as well as the affordability issue. What I would do is not what someone else might do and in my opinion, one is not right. Plus, I think there are advantages of exploring other cultures in this round about way, if you can’t afford the real deal. At least you are expanding your mind a bit, without depleting your bank account.
But I do get your point.
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I am a big fan of being a tourist in your own hometown. I have 10 weeks of having my kids at home every summer and not much money for travelling to exotic places. We got a (free)state travel guide and are trying to hit spots within an hour or so from our house for day trips and a bit farther away for overnighters. It works out fine. We’re lucky to live right outside of NYC, which is a place you could spend a year exploring and still never see everything. Most places in the world have great things to do and see if you look for them.
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Hi Madeleine,
Great post – spot on! I also get irritated by those articles about ‘creating’ a holiday atmosphere at home. As if! But, like Kath, I’m a big fan of taking time off to explore your own hometown. She’s lucky enough to live near NYC and I’m lucky to live in London so we do have a never ending supply of new things to do and places to explore right on our doorsteps.I’m past the ‘keeping the kids entertained cheaply in school holidays’ stage but now often have, what my friends and I refer to as BDO (Big Days Out) when we choose a different place to visit (often involving a nice cafe with a museum attached – eating and nattering often taking longer than the agree cultural activity). Yesterday we went to London Zoo which I hadn’t been to since my kids were young. It was a grand day out – leisurely canal boat trip to Regents Park and the zoo, then a walk back to Camden Market along the canal (and a chance to check out all the trendy shops so we could pretend we were 20 again). I arrived home feeling tired but refreshed at the same time – much as I do after a good holiday.
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oh absolutely, I think seeing your own town through the eyes of a tourist can open the doors on amazing experiences, something we truly don’t do enough.
Anything that gets you out of your apartment is a good thing in my books, it’s the sitting inside watching foreign movies “pretending” to be on vacation that kills me, i am a firm believer in appreciating where you are!
You guys are fabulous for the comments! I love the feedback.
xoxo
Madeleine↵ -
Huh. Staying home for vacation? Someones on crack. I could never do that, I would end up getting on the laptop and working. Or playing Warcraft III. Or maybe changing the oil in my car. That’s not a vacation. It is hard to go somewhere when you don’t have a lot of money. That’s why my wife and I are planning our trip to Jamaica a year and a half in advance. We’ve figured out how much it is for a villa, airfare, food estimation, transportation, fees for places to go and taxes for everything. We know almost exactly how much we need to save. Then we opened a savings account expressly for this trip. It is hard to save the money, but it can be done. You just have to go without some things for a few months. But then, that’s the great thing about going on vacation, you’ve sacrificed some things at home so you can do them, and more, on the beach. Or in the mountains. Or anywhere you want to go.
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“Who doesn’t love bath oils and plush robes?†But come on, really?
just realize it. invite an in-house spa treatment. you can ask what you want. private treatment…
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I just found this site by mistake, and this is the article I happened to read. I could not stand taking vacation time from work, and then sitting around the house. I know that I would end up working much harder than if I were at work. I have a lot of firewood that still needs split!
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