Is sex tourism about peace, love and happiness – or does it hide an uncomfortable truth?
Every year, tourists flock to Southeast Asia, in hopes of netting the tropical ocean dream.
Khaosan Road, Bangkok’s backpacker coconut cream pie, proves that not only can you sleep for three dollars a night, but you can also be anyone you want in Paradise.
For some, this means picking up dreadlocks while exiting Watson’s pharmacy, and wearing more tie-dye than would fit in the back of a VW van.
For others, however, it means purchasing sexual services from a woman, man, or even a child, and imagining themselves as Love Gods.
One can smell a lot of things on Khaosan Road- patchouli, pineapples, Pad Thai, and as well, the more pungent odor of sex tourism- the question is, whether or not it’s all about peace, love and happiness.
Sex tourism, present throughout the world, is particularly prevalent in South East Asia, where the connected problems of human trafficking, AIDS, and poverty, continue to flourish and claim lives at unprecedented rates.
The Choice To Sell
Sex tourists, defined as “those who travel to a country for the sole purpose of having sex” see it as an opportunity, or even an entitlement, to have sex available for less money than they would pay at home.
Sex tourists tend not to differentiate between buying groceries, and going to the brothel to buy sex – both provide someone with economic sustenance.
They perceive that those involved in the industry are making a choice to sell their services.
Some even say they are “helping” sex workers, as other available labor, particularly for women, generally yields a lower profit. Sex tourists tend not to differentiate between buying groceries, and going to the brothel to buy sex- both provide someone with economic sustenance.
It is also true that some sex workers tend not to distinguish between sex work and other work, which may or may not be any less exploitative- the difference, is in the body parts used.
We Westerners, products of Christian influence, have moralized sex, unlike in some other countries, including some Southeast Asian nations, where it is seen in more neutral terms.
Many sex workers wish to provide services without judgment or police interference, and continue to fight for better protection within the industry.
A Critical Eye
As an English teacher in Thailand for over a year, I had the opportunity of having a closer look at the sex industry in Southeast Asia.
I felt that sex tourists, and brothel-goers in general, radiated a patriarchal sense of entitlement which, in the case of the foreigners, would not be acceptable, or even possible, back home.
Honestly speaking, women who envision a grand life for themselves and their children are not lined up for extra-curricular sex with some (excuse the cliché) foul-mannered, overweight, middle-aged, married, balding alcoholic- only the most vulnerable are really up for this job.
Many sex tourists, who wouldn’t even be eligible for a date back in Germany, Canada, Australia, or wherever else they come from, find solace in the fact that their money buys their egos back, at the expense of someone else’s health or happiness.
Money buys their egos back, at the expense of someone else’s health or happiness.
The gratification is not in the sex (for even the married ones have it right up there lying in the bed) but in the fact that they have monetary power, and society supports the idea that money can buy you anything, including a beautiful woman or girl.
This ideology reeks with dehumanization and confirms that men are mere providers of money, and women are subject to its rule. There is also plenty of gay sex-tourism, in which (mostly young) boys are exploited in the same way as women.
Sex tourism, then, is a tragedy, for both the sex workers, who don’t always choose to be there, and for the men who pay them.
A Forced Profession
I do not mean to say that sex tourism, or sex work, for that matter, is a black and white issue, and for those sex workers who love their jobs, I am no one to judge their choices or their profession.
However, we can’t ignore the fact that many people are smuggled and then forced into the trade, either by lack of any other option, or by pimps, or even by their family members, who may be desperate for a piece of the profit.
As well, the risk factors for sex workers are very high, and many succumb to AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. Those who seek out sexual services, particularly those who are married or in other relationships, risk the lives of their partners when they return home.
Some say that sex tourism is about sex, but I think it’s about power and opportunism.
While awareness and prevention is the key to preventing these unfortunate outcomes, it is a reality that many wives, girlfriends, and boyfriends still become infected with these diseases, due to the irresponsibility of their loved ones.
Some say that sex tourism is about sex, but I think it’s about power and opportunism. I am not sure we are reaching our human potential, as tourists and ambassadors of our nations, by contributing to additional social gaps in the world.
While it is true that sex workers make more money than working in the market, there are other, more effective ways to improve the lives of people, besides buying sex from them.
For those women, men and children who are trafficked, or bound to the trade by economic desperation, it seems hopelessly unfair that they should have to sacrifice the most personal areas of their bodies for the sake of someone’s vacation, ego, or fantasy whim.
Perhaps as tourists, and as people, before we depart, we might care to ponder not only others’ choices, but also our own, and what we want to make of them.
Emily Hansen is a travel writer and teacher based in Shimla, India, where she is working on a book about her experiences as an expat. Her native land is Canada, and she has traveled to over 30 countries, and has lived in six, including Germany, China, Korea, Thailand, Taiwan, and now, India. What’s your view on sex tourism? Please share in the comments.
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Sex tourism? Why always focus on one aspect of it (that is, some western men who go to a couple of resorts in south-east asia). Why not condemn the condemners? Go to the Caribbean resorts any time of year to witness the thousands of white women sex tourists who flock there to seek out sex with black men. It’s a running joke with the people in places like Barbados, Jamaica etc. So, any un-accompanied white women wandering around with their new “boyfriends” don’t think you are fooling anyone – and remember, people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
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Great lines: “Many sex tourists, who wouldn’t even be eligible for a date back in Germany, Canada, Australia, or wherever else they come from, find solace in the fact that their money buys their egos back, at the expense of someone else’s health or happiness.”
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Its a very interesting argument Emily, and I agree with much of the content.
However one phrase caught me regarding the man’s motives to pay for sex. I’m not completely convinced it because they can feel “monetary power” or “power gratification” by having sex, and paying for it.
Men may also cheat on their wives, even without paying. My initial reaction is that there is a different feeling (as for a man anyway) being with someone you don’t know so well. Variety adds spice to life. Perhaps they want to experience being with a Asian or thin (as many Asian girls are thin) girl. Another reason could be that these men didn’t have much experience when they were younger.
There’s also the argument that it is in a men’s physic to “spread their gene-pool”, through having sex with as many different girls as possible.
..I agree there are “goals” behind some of these reasons, however I don’t believe pure “power gratification” is at work here. I think “power gratification” would be showing off they can afford to drive an expensive flashy car, as one example.
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Hi Daniel and Seachild:)
Just some comments, Daniel. I agree that some men pay for the services of a sex worker because they have little experience, or like “thin” women, or feel they need some sort of variety. This however, points out some insecurities in their psyche which in turn, are put on women and others involved in the trade, and as well distracts from the pressing issue of finding real solutions to poverty.
Unfair? Well, we have to look at who is gaining from this, and I don’t think it is the women/others involved in the long run (though maybe short term) depending on how you define “gain”. If “gain” is defined as simply money, then I think sex work accomplishes its goal for the sex worker, but we also have to look at the broader definition of it, the dangers involved, even to other people besides the man paying for it, and whether or not sex work puts women (and some men) in a higher social position in the end.
The ‘thin” argument is also one I take particular issue with…are some men so intimidated by a large woman, and so willing to be bullied by their limited concept of culture, that fat women are seen as scary and undesirable? For men who are attracted to only “thin” women (and many are not), get a life and grow up, guys! Real men are not afraid to date women who dare to take up space, and those are the kind that most women like. No wonder they go to Thailand to seek out a thin woman- the sometimes larger Western ones have been long fed up with them, and the Thai ones will do the same the moment they figure out what kind of character they are dealing with! Some people think that Thai women will put up with more- guess again…they’re pretty damn smart. I have watched brothel relationships turn into “real” relationships, and a couple years down the road, the men figure out that women are the same everywhere- and yes, they like to be respected, and if they aren’t, out come the tricks and boy they’re in trouble, not to mention a few bucks shorter than they were to begin with! “Karma quickens” as they say;O So, it IS about power in my view, Daniel, at least in part.
Anyways…I think that’s all. Thanks for yoru comments.
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“As an English teacher in Thailand for over a year, I had the opportunity of having a closer look at the sex industry in Southeast Asia” …
————————-What would be great is that you talk about that “closer look”. Exactly what is it that you did that got you closer?
Your comments are rather normal, predictable comments about prostitution and male power/domination (surprised?), plus the usual stereotype of fat smelly white males, and weak, subdued women, for “local” color . Hard to think that all these thoughts were not already yours even before you took a “closer look”.
How much better would it be if we could put a name, a face (even if imagined), a story to your “closer look”, rather than these generalities, with very little sourcing to what you advance, that one hardly needs to go to teach english in a foreign country to put them down on paper, and not be entirely off target.
Your paragraph on aids incidence seems to touch upon local sex work, but you hardly mention we here veer from sex tourim to the more horrible conditions in sleazy thai brothels, that are never patronized by foreigners, yet constitute truly the bulk, not the tip, of the proverbial iceberg, as far as prostitution is concerned in Asia.
Your mention of profiting at someone else’s expense and health has little to do with sex tourism. Hundred of millions of poor people are so exploited around the world, and they do not have to sell their bodies. Most of the women in the sex trade probably would not have another better choice than being exploited, either by a drunk husband, a sleazy factory boss, or damaging their health in sweatshop type work environment, if exiting the sex trade.
Sorry, I think one real story of one woman in that trade, one befriending on your part of a sex worker to tell that story, would have shown a valid authenticity, a deeper concern on your part for these women, away from these trite and predictable comments.
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I agree with some of your points. Of course, it’s horrible that in the 21st century we are still archaic enough to accept the purchase of sex from a women/boys/human. But I think you’re overlooking certain things. For one, you’re saying that it’s power gratification, and that COULD be a part of it, I’ll agree, but I highly doubt it. I mean, you never really said how buying a prostitute gives this power rush that all these guys crave. You’re not mentioning any specific cases. Besides, a man isn’t going to go take a trip to Thailand ( which isn’t that lovely a place ) just to buy himself a prostitute just so he can feel powerful. He’s going to do it because he likes sex. It’s that simple. That’s the driving force in this world: sex.
I know you mentioned that subpar men should be settling for larger women, but that’s just a ridiculous idea. Either gender shouldn’t be sticking to the people who they’re similar looking to. You should always ( always! ) try to get someone you’re happy with. You’re saying that men are intimidated by larger women, but generally speaking, we just don’t find them attractive. Don’t get me wrong, there’s beautiful large women, but people don’t find large people attractive. Don’t try and say that we’re intimidated by bigger people, when it’s just that they’re not attractive. I know it sounds totally cruel and callous, but I find bigger women pretty, so I don’t see me as cold.
So why should a man settle for a woman he doesn’t find attractive, when he can simply get away for a while and get exactly what he wants?
It’s like saying, ” Oh I have the money for this car, and I really want it, but I think this one is more like my style. ” In the end, it’s getting what you want that makes you happy, so I think we should all strive for that, whether you’re a man or a woman. Of course, I stand against doing it if you have a lover, or if it can ruin your work/family life. And I know you say Emily that the prostitutes life will be ruined by us, but she’s already in the business, and either way, her life is going to be that way.
Lastly, about the issue of STDs: Prostitution is a business that’s been around since Ancient Rome and Egypt. You haven’t given any facts or statistics on the STD rate among sex tourists or prostitutes, and until you do, you’re hypothetical situation is just that.
That’s my only problem with this article: there’s no statistics, no personal stories, no studies, just you saying all these hypothetical situations. Just as you hypothesize that buying a woman gives a man a sense of power, I can say that being a prostitute gives a woman a sense of sexual importance. It’s not something that you can vouch for or generalize.
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What you’ve written displays no insight into the selling of sex whatsoever. Just because you taught English for one year in South East Asia does not prove you know what you’re talking about. How many honest and genuinely probing conversations did you have with prostitutes and the men who use them in that time? My guess is very few.
For example, “The gratification is not in the sex but in the fact that they have monetary power…” is an astonishingly lazy thing to write. Do you honestly believe that men who pay for sex don’t do it for sexual gratification?
It’s a very old-fashioned feminist cliche to claim that men pay for sex merely to exercise power over women. Power might be part of the kick for some, but the sole motivation? Come off it. There are a million and one reasons men and women enjoy sex, whether or not money is changing hands. A popular one: because it feels good.
I recommend you read Elizabeth Pisani’s excellent book on prostitution and HIV/AIDS, “The Wisdom of Whores” for a realistic view of the whole business from an epidemiologist whose job it is to have one.
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