The Brave New Traveler Guide To Hostel Sex will get you out of the dorms and into sweaty, awkward bliss faster than you can say “light my fire”.
What do you get when you drop a few dozen backpackers into a hostel, soak with beer and mix in a healthy dose of liberation from social norms?
A tidal wave of hormones…and one major problem: where to go to get it on?
Unless you’re a flamboyant exhibitionist, nothing puts a damper on romantic relations like company. Dorms are almost never empty, and even when they are, the likelihood of someone barging in makes anything more than surreptitious groping an impossibility.
If you’re hankering to slide the key into the ignition and get your motor firing on all cylinders, you need to get creative, and get out of the dorms.
Unless you’re a flamboyant exhibitionist, nothing puts a damper on romantic relations like company.
First of all, let’s consider the options in and around the hostel.
Every hostel has hidden nooks and crannies that offer enough space and privacy for at least a hasty knee-trembler. You can be sure the hostel staff know about these spots, but unless you’re hooking up with one of them, asking for directions is bad form.
The trick is to know where to look, and to scout locations in advance if you’re feeling lucky. Here are some possibilities:
The Laundry Room
Most hostels have a laundry room that is abandoned at night. If you’re feeling naughty, the stacks of fresh-smelling sheets and towels make an ideal love-nest.
The more considerate and hygienic option is to make use of the sturdy appliances, with the woman sitting on top of the washer / dryer. (Extra points for spin cycle).
The Roof
When checking into your next hostel, take a look around and see if there’s any way to access the roof. Overhanging trees are one possibility, as are upstairs windows with broad sills from which you can pull yourself up to the rooftop.
Of course safety is important, and you shouldn’t take unnecessary risks, but you’d be surprised at how many hostel roofs are accessible with a little ingenuity.
And once you’re up there - well, the sky is the limit.
The Bathroom
OK, maybe it’s not the most romantic location, but most hostels have bathrooms that lock. As long as the floor and toilet are reasonably clean, you can shut yourselves inside and bump uglies to your heart’s content.
Even open bathrooms with several stalls offer the possibility of a quickie - just ask Senator Larry Craig.
The best position is for the guy to sit on the toilet while the girl sits in his lap - this way she can lift her legs off the floor if someone comes in, so that from the outside it looks like just one person is in the stall.
The Broom Closet
If the laundry room is locked, the roof is inaccessible and the thought of sex in a bathroom stall makes you queasy, the hostel broom closet is a classic option.
The main problems with the broom closet are that nothing more than a standing position is possible, mop handles have a way of whacking you in the head at inopportune moments and the smell of high-test floor cleaner can make you pass out.
The key is to be quick (if you’re screwing in a broom closet I doubt this will be a problem).
Don’t have sex in the hostel kitchen. No one wants traces of mystery juice in their stir-fry.
The Kitchen
Don’t have sex in the hostel kitchen. Just don’t. People cook food in the kitchen. No one wants traces of mystery juice in their stir-fry.
Plus, hostel kitchens aren’t as private as you might think. Even at 4 am you can bet that someone will be looking for a midnight snack, and nothing ruins an appetite like the sight of bare asses bouncing on the counter.
Seriously, don’t have sex in the kitchen.
The Great Outdoors
If your hostel has a backyard, look for a shadowy spot behind a tree.
Better yet, if you’re in a semi-rural area, get out of the hostel grounds entirely. A copse of trees can provide all the privacy you need, and a lonesome beach is even more enticing.
Just remember to snag a towel or a bed-sheet from the hostel before running naked down the sand.
Get A Room Already!
Look, I know you’re on a tight budget. But I guarantee that a few years down the road, when you’re married and have a mortgage, you won’t regret having dropped a couple extra bills for a night of passion.
In many countries, like Japan and Taiwan, there is the ‘love-hotel’ option, where you can rent a fantasy-themed room by the hour. Otherwise, just jump in a cab and ask the driver to take you to a guesthouse or motel.
As usual, Mark Twain sums it up best, “10 years from now you will be more disappointed by the people you haven’t done than by the ones you have, so cast off the panties, sail away from the hostel dorm - explore, dream, get laid!”
Where’s the most creative place your “friend” has ever had sex? Shock and titillate us by leaving a comment below!
BNT contributing editor Tim Patterson travels with a sleeping bag and pup tent strapped to the back of his folding bicycle. His articles and travel guides have appeared in The San Francisco Chronicle, Get Lost Magazine, Tales Of Asia and Traverse Magazine. Check out his Matador profile.About the Author
More By This Author
- Travel Guilty Pleasures: What's Yours? (34 comments)
- BNT's Best Of The Week 05/23/09 (2 comments)
- BNT's Best Of The Week 05/09/09 (3 comments)
Related Posts
104 Comments... join the discussion!
-
-
South East London Nightclub called the venue, basically the stage for the main dancefloor. It wasn’t being used and we were behind some landing strip strob lights that would flood the dance hall, so could only be seen if somebody was looking directly at the place we were at and the lights were off. However, we could see 2000 people..so the excitement of being caught on stage was quite the turn on.
↵ -
Once we got frisky in an Internet cafe in Tokyo. Individual booths, couch for two, 18 inch widescreen computer monitor and a curtain… nice.
↵ -
Ha ha, awesome blog! My best one was getting very very drunk in Thailand (Koh Samui) and having rampant ‘cough’ with my girlfriend on a bbq table outside our room. It was only as we were half way through that I noticed we had a fairly substantial audience but hey, when you’re drunk you don’t care!
↵ -
Dude, I love Mark Twain. I have a book of his quotes. He did NOT say what you quoted him as saying at the end of your post. They didn’t even *have* the word “panties” in his era.
↵ -
@Jon Cox - I’m pretty sure Tim was joking…
↵ -
hmmm…let me count the ways! a park during broad daylight is probably the craziest. but then again, a gay club (with a questionably straight brazilian man) in london might be a little worse. where else? thank god i’m getting old and can’t remember anymore!
↵ -
Once, behind the kiln in the art room at school, with the teacher (who hated both my boyfriend and me) expected back at any moment.
↵ -
Let’s see. My friend definitely managed to lose her virginity in the balcony of a church sanctuary. This same friend also managed to get frisky in the back row of a greyhound bus coming up from Texas. I have to say though, I totally agree with the rooftop. Roofs, especially at night are brilliant places to enjoy each-other.
↵ -
in a gondala in new zealand was fun but quick. the outdoors is always goood just make sure that if you use a picnic table that it doesnt break half way throw.
↵ -
very funny, but true.
↵ -
Please what is this world turning to? Please discuss things more serious and uplifting. You must give your lives to Jesus. Time is short. We are in perilous times now. Read 2Timothy 3:1-7 - ‘ ¶This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.’↵ -
To Ayodeji…
Hey, I understand, I was a virgin too once! Me thinks you came her for understanding, found too much for your brain/body to handle, and reverted to your earlier puritanical self
No problems… I hope you and your desires are able to meet sometime in the future without scaring yourself
↵ -
Hilarious article!!!
best time, hands down: the bathroom! a friend’s apartment with a boy from Scotland- thank god the sink didn’t break- oh yeah, if the sink fits, well…you know what I’m getting at here… but do check it, before you wreck it. Also- sound CARRIES BETTER IN MOST BATHROOMS. so the smaller, the better. But do try it. Here’s why::
1. sure the bathroom is a bit dirty for some— uhm, hello- we are talking sex here- right? not scrabble- plus if you really feel that irked, you have a sink (or shower) right there to clense if needed… perfect!
2. the only think hotter than looking at each other in the act is getting three different mirror angles of what ‘cher doin’!
** note: you will have PLENTY of time to get down on couches and beds… take it somewhere else- you’ll be glad you did!!3. to lock the door or not lock the door? that is the question… the answer is not lock the door– he locked it, I asked, “what are you locking it for?” and we both had THE biggest grins on our faces… and we hadn’t even started yet!!!
great article, thanks for sharing!
a!
↵ -
I lived in a hostel off Sunset Point. I was only other person, besides the owner that had a full unit. I used to have offers everyday to :
1. rent the unit for 30 minutes
2. rent me for 30 minutes…Lots of action on the beach…all the time.
Great Post!
↵ -
It’s lovely and sexy.
↵ -
amazing post
most exciting sex while travelling for me was during senior trip. u name it, ive done it. bathroom, beach, disneyland hotel pool, bunk beds (same disneyland hotel) alley in spain, tons in the shower, as well as the good old bed
theres something so hot about sex in tricky places
↵ -
this is great, the biggest part of sealing the deal is always logistics. a study abroad in japan had me very frustrated until i started getting creative.
the roof is probably the best tip on here, and it doesn’t just apply to the hostel–a university can have 4-5+ buildings with easy roof access. a word on the bathrooms, too: some of the lesser-used university buildings have big, clean, handicap bathrooms that noone has even used since they were built. i’m just sayin’!
↵ -
ummm…an STD?
↵ -
No pride people.. get a room!
↵ -
have to say this article is great!
The strangest place my “friend” had sex is a church parking lot in Tuxla-Garentara Mexico, no hotels or taxis with in 25 miles, 65 people in the Hostel, we just had to get out of there and one thing led to another!!!
↵ -
girls don’t have sex in Backpacker Hostels
↵ -
@Ayodeji. Dude. You seriously need to get laid.
↵ -
man i new a guy named johnathon cox when i was a kid. he was a d**khole just like this guy. wonder if it’s the same person.
↵ -
@Ayodeji
I’m not really into the gay thing. Is there some sort of female holy spirit I could do up on the rooftop rather than Jesus?
I think I could get to like your religion a lot more if it were more accommodating to heterosexual males.
↵ -
knowing people that work at the hostel, with master keys, is definitely an advantage. Especially if they are good looking with sexy accents…
↵ -
haha i remember once when i had sex in a hostel and the only empty place was the sauna !! man was it hot lol
↵ -
love it.
laundry girl myself. there is nothing better thn being sat on a dryer.
first trip from home wasnt even out the countryfound myself there. i took the laundry room and friend took the kitchen/lounge. belief me there is no one coming to do washing at 5am. the kitchen however…
↵ -
Come on….Dorms are easy…lesson one …always pick bottom bunk on a bed with long part along a wall…hang up a sheet on long part and towels on each end….bam! love den!! Done…
second lesson….
don’t “try” to shag a girl in the all girls dorm with a nun on top bunk….funny story
god I love Aussie!!
↵ -
Reminds me of a memorable night in a certain hostel in Paris. We didn’t find any special hiding spot. But luckily for us, the room was empty and there were curtains on every bunk. I’ll always remember that English lad very fondly. Gotta love hostel hook-ups.
↵ -
Yawn, been there, done that. I work for a hostel now and you’ve missed one very important point…most hostels have lots of video cameras now…so that privacy you THINK you’ve discovered may give the staff lots and lots of laughs…
Places we’ve ‘caught’ people having sex include: On the maintanence area work table, in a closed off construction area, lounge chairs (under infrared light), back stairs and the topper of all - over the trash compactor (TWICE). That one drew a unanimous ICK from the staff…..
↵ -
In the bathroom at a hostel in Prague. After exploring several unsuccessful options, including the floor and the tiny, tiny shower cubicle we agreed that the only option was for her to sit on the sink.
Halfway through the sink collapsed and picked up our kit and got out of there and checked out in the morning.
↵ -
A worldly chap I work with tells some good stories, most of which suggest the outdoors option is best:
- a Latvian lass doubled over his backpack on a forest path, avoiding German tourists.
- a different Latvian girl on a beach standing up, then later in the forest, then once more for good measure over a sink in the camping ground latrines. They had to finish off in a shower-block when an obese camper strolled in to clean his teeth.
- a couple of Lithuanian lovelies on a little island off Klaipeda. I understand it was one of their birthdays.
- a Bulgarian vamp with her Alsatian running around the room
- a Russian air-hostess with two poodles which would nip at his shaking calves. They weren’t nearly as frightening as her horrified brother though.I have a feeling there were some others too. Certainly he speaks fondly of Hungary. Either way, it wants me to go travelling.
↵ -
Once backpacking in WA with a girl, we were in a remote town and had to walk out of town on the main road connecting to the highway. To cut a long story short we did it on the median strip on the road, under the stars. She took a little convincing at first then decided it was ok cause we could see car headlights coming either way from about 2 km at least!! was the best sex I’ve ever had, under ze stars n a little danger at the back of my head, I tell ya!
↵ -
i did it in a classroom while everyone was on a field trip…. but we almost didnt “finish” in time to “clean up” O.o
↵ -
ok, most amazing experience of my life was on a Galapagos cruise;
picture being on the roof of a yacht, in the middle of the pacific ocean in the middle of the night; it seems you can see every star imaginable..and to top it all off one of the (extremely hot) Ecuadorian crew workers who speaks little to no English ravishing you. The next day, you and (same) Ecuadorian man are getting it on on the bottom level deck, and another yacht (with 6 crew guys outside cleaning the boat or something) passes by. Slowly. At the time I could have died. Unfortunately my (3) profs found a condom on deck the next day. (never found out who though
↵ -
As a health educator, I could not believe that you could write a whole article for young adults about promiscuous sex without any mention of STI or pregnancy prevention. When engaging in sexual activity with multiple partners, the risk of contracting an STI is very high. In fact, people between the ages of 15-25 are currently the population at the greatest risk. With one in three Americans contracting a STI by the age of 25 the probability of being exposed to an infection is very high.
So, once you find your exciting location in a hostel to have sex, make sure you use at least one form of contraception (correctly).
↵ -
ive done it in walmart within the clothes racks. mad crazy. we almost got caught. hahaha.
↵ -
Nobody’s done it on a plane? It was very cramped, in the back of a DC-10, but my girlfriend was pretty thin so it worked out well.
↵ -
Best place for me was on my hated bosses chair in the office out of business hours, knowing that he may decide to come back to the office at any time (yes he was married to his job). I did this 3 times with 3 different girls and left at least two different stains on his chair. Yes I hated him!!
↵ -
I have been staying in hostels for 25+ years. Hostels are not places to have sex. If you are going to have sex with someone you meet in a hostel, go somewhere else and do it, or at very least rent a private room. Consider the feelings of the other travelers staying there - they will know what you and your Romeo/Juliet are up to.
↵ -
The place doesn’t really matter when you want to get frisky just anywhere and enjoy the crazyness of the moment. How about a lifeboat near an unhabbited island and away from the world? Just a thought
↵ -
This boy at lagan backpackers in Belfast has the best job ever. You hear stories about the hostel owner getting laid all the time. So true!!.
In the four days i was there. He partied and seem to loved his job. Great guy, so nice and helpful. But he loves his woman! First i saw him getting it on with a Canadian girl. Definatly did her for three nights she was there. The day she left, my last night there he was doing an American girl. When i asked i was told with a smile that its a perk. He is always at it and on the lookout for a lonely or horney woman.↵ -
In auckland (the city of sails) I woke up one morning with a very cute Aussie living on a houseboat in the harbour… it was a nice change from sitting on the sinks in the hostel toilets!
The shower is kinda tricky… esp if the guy is much taller than you…↵ -
My most exciting hostel “activities” occurred in Australia. Some of my hostel hook up spots included: walking down to the beach (Byron Bay), the alley way next to the hostel (Byron Bay), on top of a water tower (Noosa), in the showers (Cairns), and in some bushes (Cairns).
↵ -
Foreplay started on the sidewalk just outside the Green Tortoise hostel in SF @ about midnight (shirt and bra over my head even!), and ended in the guys room, top bunk. Of course his bunk mates decided it would be funny to fart about 10 times. That was disgusting to say the least.
The next day was with an employee, up in his staff unit, on the floor. Another staffer walked in, left beer on the table, and walked back out, whistling. We laughed and when we were done we drank all of the beer before heading back down to the hostel. Best vacation I’ve ever had!!↵ -
Cabin #20 in the South of Italy. You know who you are! We woke the neighbors for four nights, but since our rendezvous were absolutely secret he would leave in the middle night - leaving me to deal with the awkwardness in the morning!
↵ -
Wait… is this advocating sex with strangers? I don’t really like that, but if it’s one of your traveling buddies, knock yourself out. Literally. I just don’t want to hear/see you.
↵
