There are six things to have in your bag that can help break the ice and make an introduction.
Many of my best travel experiences have been shared with local people who have invited me into their lives.
- Singing Russian drinking songs with my cabin-mates in Siberia.
- Playing cards until dawn on an overnight train across China.
- Relaxing on an isolated beach with a fisherman in Panama.
These moments, when you actually step off the tourist trail and enter into the reality of the place you are visiting, are the much talked about, yet ever elusive goals of many travelers.
At times, when you are alone in a new place, nothing seems more impenetrable then the strange culture that surrounds you. If you are feeling lonely, there is always the opportunity to make friends with your fellow travelers.
However, when you are feeling adventurous and willing to delve deeper into the world around you, there are six things to have in your bag that can help break the ice and make an introduction.
1. A Ticket On The Slow Bus
The faster, air conditioned, express bus is always tempting on a hot day, but it will not help you meet the locals.
The easiest way to meet local people when traveling is to surround yourself with them.
The easiest way to meet local people when traveling is to surround yourself with them. There is no better way to do this than taking the absolute cheapest transportation option available.
When you board the overstuffed train or bus, likely you will be seated next to dozens of people eager to have a conversation. Squat down on a bag of rice, stack of rope, or anywhere you can lean, and keep a smile about the whole ordeal.
The people around you will be watching to see how you react to the situation. Staying relaxed and smiling will go a long way towards warming up your new travel companions.
2. Cassette Tapes
Bringing your own music in an MP3 player or portable CD player is a great way to block out the screeching noise of foreign cities, smooth the ride on trying bus or jeep journeys, or pass the time during long transit periods. On the other hand, there is nothing more isolating than a pair of headphones.
Instead, try traveling with one or two classic cassette mix-tapes. When you tire of the cab’s selection of “the coolest American music,” or a jeep driver’s library of Mongolian throat singing tapes, offer the driver one of your own.
You’re not the only one who may be interested in hearing something new.
3. A Deck Of Playing Cards
Every country in the world seems to have at least one game that uses playing cards. Once you claim your spot on the train or in the bus station, instead of hiding behind a book, start to lazily play a game of solitaire. Before you know it there will be a crowd of people eager to join you.
4. Pictures Of Home, Your Friends And Family
Besides being a great reminder of your friends and family when you are feeling homesick, a few pictures of home are a great way to build a connection with people you meet on the road.
When choosing pictures try to focus on images that capture the relationship you have with the people in the photograph.
Pictures of houses, apartments, cars, and other possessions can appear opulent and ostentatious in other parts of the world, regardless of their status in your hometown or city.
5. A Reservation Through The Hospitality Club.
Organizations like the Hospitality Club, CouchSurfing, the WWOOF program, and forums like the Digihitch Rideboard, are more than just places to find free lodging or a free ride.
The most useful tool for building relationships abroad is language.
These resources are a great way to escape the typical traveler’s circuit and spend an evening, a few days, or even a few weeks with a local, hanging out, sharing an apartment, or even working.
Remember that, in addition to rooms for lodging, the Hospitality Club and CouchSurfing have listings of local people who just want to grab a beer, do some sightseeing, or share their favorite restaurant.
6. A Phrasebook
The most useful tool for building relationships abroad is language - and if you sincerely hope to make friends the few pages at the end of your guidebook will not be enough.
A dedicated phrasebook, with two-way dictionaries and liberal use of native script, can be passed back and forth and be surprisingly useful for conveying meaning.
As a fun challenge, leave the guidebook in the hostel and spend a day navigating with only your phrasebook, or for the dedicated, try to learn a new language in only a few weeks.
Having these six things with you will not magically open a world of friendships, but they are small and light and can make a huge difference when you are trying to break into a foreign social group.
What are your favourite items to pack to share with locals? Share in the comments!
David DeFranza has studied in China, worked in Japan, and wandered all over Asia, Europe and North America. When not traveling he spends his time in New York, or the seacoast of New Hampshire, or where ever his friends offer a couch.About the Author
More By This Author
- The Traveler's Guide To Bypassing Internet Censorship (7 comments)
- 5 Tips Every Traveler Should Know About Internet Security (6 comments)
- 8 Free Online Resources For Learning A New Language (52 comments)
Related Posts
26 Comments... join the discussion!
-
-
What an excellent topic with practical suggestions, David. Loved it. And I did the WWOOF program in Korea and it was a blast. Ended up hanging out on a pottery farm with a guy who’s wife had left him. As it turned out he wanted WWOOFers so he wouldn’t feel lonely- and that we did not. We helped him in his studio and he in return amused us with many hours of conversation and trips to the museum on our “off” hours. I suggest WWOOFing for anyone who wants to experience a culture more.
↵ -
I’ve had terrific experiences couchsurfing. One more item for the list is a simple magic trick - great to break the ice, no language required.
↵ -
I completely agree with #1. Public transport may not be all that comfortable, but some of our funniest and most insightful experiences with locals in Central Asia came when squished in the back of a marshrutka (minivan).
On the same lines as Tim, I’d add juggling or animal balloons - a way to connect, especially with kids, when there’s no common verbal language.
↵ -
On my last trip to Cambodia I took a lot of small gifts for the children there. I gave them pencils, keyrings,… I will never forget all the smiles on the faces of the kids there.
↵ -
Lots of useful info here. It’s very easy to travel in your own little bubble.
↵ -
stop mooching off your friends, settle down and start contributing to society
hippie
↵ -
Two things: American gum (apparently our gum is the good s**t), and cigarettes. It may not be PC to say, but again, apparently our Marlboros (or Lucky Strikes in my case) are better. If you’re a smoker, you can make friends quick with half a pack. Worked on the TGV from Lyon to Paris.
↵ -
Hey, dfourve -
Haven’t you heard? Not too many hippies these days - you know, dforty years after the hippie movement? It might help to know who you’re talking to before you start spitting at them.
BTW, Just because you travel to meet open-minded people doesn’t make you counterculture. It just makes you educated. If your idea of contributing to society is about flipping people off with dated hit-and-runs, I guess mine’s about apologizing for attitudes like yours: “Sorry, sometimes the graft doesn’t take…”
k33p try1ng, d4ve. y0u c4n d0 1t.
↵ -
All these are great suggestions. I think that another good game to take is backgammon. This is my favorite.
↵ -
Tim, A magic trick is a great idea. I had never thought of that. Of course, a card trick could be paired nicely with the deck of cards.
rprebel, I agree that in many parts of the world a cigarette is the standard gesture of casual hospitality. A question for the female travelers: is there a gender bias here? Has anyone (besides fellow travelers) offered you a cigarette? I have no idea, but it seems that it might not be as common.
Thanks for all the good words and additional suggestions everyone!
↵ -
I noticed that when you ask for directions people usually are trying to help you and are curious to know more about you.This way you can find out shortcuts , great unknown places and an ad hoc local guide.It worked for me
↵ -
In Dubai you hardly meet any locals, you only meet peoples from all over the world. specialy from sub continent.
↵ -
Magic tricks go down a treat - provided you are good at them. The slow bus is also a great idea, although as I found out in Myanmar, meeting the locals in this way can actually mean having someone puke on your lap.
↵ -
This is a great article ! I lived in Turkey right amongst the locals and that truly is the only way to do it : immerse yourself in the culture…
↵ -
that was a nice, easy, practical and positive read.
↵ -
Great article. Totally agree with the local transport thing. One thing that was real popular when I was traveling was Origami. Learn how to make a couple of things, and start making one and you’ll soon be surrounded by a mob of interested people.
Also, a lot can be said about where you eat. eat at the local eateries. It’s usually cheaper, it’s often times better, it’s always more authentic, and you meet a lot of people. Why travel half way around the world and eat at a Mcdonalds?
↵ -
Hey i really enjoyed the article i hope to one day travel like this and this is a nice resource. Keep on Trucking.
↵ -
I really enjoyed this article!
I have spent a lot of time abroad, and came to realize that getting to know the locals is one of the best parts of traveling! How and why do I do it?
-The gift of chocolate. I’ve found that the English word “chocolate†sounds similar in many other languages: German- Schokolade, Spanish- chocolate, Italian- cioccolato, Dutch-chocolade, French- chocolat and so on. It is very easy to ask if my new friends like chocolate. When I travel I always have a small bag of chocolates with me, that I offer to my taxi driver, hotel receptionist, man sitting next to me on the train, girl waiting at the bus stop with me, old woman that I ask for directions, or as part of my tip to my waiter, and in most cases, they accept my little gift!
Instantly it gives us something to talk ( or just smile and laugh) about. I like talking to locals, they teach me a lot. It is much better to hear about their favorite restaurants, or cool stores, instead of visiting the highly overpriced tourist ones.
The one thing that I could not live without abroad is a phrase book/ two way dictionary. It is a great tool for quickly finding the correct things to say, and also gives the person you are talking to a chance to look up words if they are also unsure. Usually in restaurants I make conversation with my waiters. I have had especially a great deal of friendly conversations with my waiters in France. Not speaking a great deal of French was okay for me, because of the phrase book that my friend and I had. Before we went into the restaurant we would practice what we needed to say, and have a look at the common restaurant vocabulary. Our waiters always appreciated our effort to speak French, and we quickly began joking around and taking pictures with them!
Other than that, just have fun! Be open-minded, and always wear a smile, you will make friends, it is inevitable!↵ -
A deck of playing cards. Man, oh man, I couldn’t agree more.
Must have something to do with being Chinese and the love of gambling in my blood (okay, fine, that’s probably more nurture than nature…but some stereotypes are fun, right?).
↵ -
I talked to like 5 people in O'ahu yesturday just by saying hello or Aloha to them… don't be afraid to say something… the worst they can do is say something mean or nothing at all.
↵ -
I absolutely agree, Debbie! I think the best way to travel (if you don't have the luxury/opportunity to travel with someone who is from the country you're visiting)…is to go with an organization that has a structured way to get you into the community. Try http://www.crossculturalsolutions.orgfor more information! My volunteer program in Costa Rica changed my life.
↵ -
Excellent and heartwarming article! I'm going to make sure I add these items to my packing list!
↵ -
Cigarettes always work for me :)) I know they are bad for you but their great for breaking down barriers, especially if your smoking a brand not normally seen locally…
↵ -
Great information. My travels have just been in North America but I have found that just smiling while you are out eating and commenting on the good behavior of a child, etc to be good conversation starters.
↵
