
Feature photo by Sean Rainer / Photo above by Computer Science Geek
Some will tell you that you can find the divine in a church, a temple, a mosque or a pagoda. That might work for you. It never has for me. Instead, I have found the divine in darkness.
Carl Jung said, “As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being.”
Darkness isn’t just about switching off all the lights and disconnecting the phone.
It is about total immersion, the deep penetrating and all-embracing black stuff you only find in true isolation, when you step beyond the reassuring warmth of human civilization.
There is a long historical tradition of seeking the profound by escaping society and choosing the darkness.
There were the wilderness prophets of John the Baptist and Moses, as well as the Yogis who sought a deeper awareness of self in retreat. The Romantic poet, William Wordsworth found an overwhelming experience of being alive whilst wandering the hills and mountains.
Yet, in our congested modern world, it is increasingly difficult to find these places and harder still to find the time to absorb them. This is a universal experience, one that can be found at any time in history, on any continent, in any country.
For our generation, our isolation is found in the travel experience, one that is transitory and passing.
The Edge Of The World
I explored such a place for some months, whilst living in the New Zealand outback. The locals amusingly referred to this place as the wop-wops – a generic term for anywhere so remote, it doesn’t even warrant a name.
Jon standing before his trailer.
My home was a static caravan, on top of a hill, 12,000 long miles from home. Between me and civilization was a valley, a long and harrowing drive down a dirt track and a farm filled with demented Emus.
I wasn’t a hermit. I traveled and worked but I did spend many nights alone in this caravan, on this edge of the world.
Surrounding my home were mountain ranges and forests, birds and possums, but after a time, they too vanished under the setting sun.
This was the time that the world changed, when it disappeared, leaving nothing but mysterious sounds and the cold night, a smooth velvet darkness that enveloped me.
On one of many cold frosty nights, I shut my caravan door behind me and took a step out into the darkness. The Milky Way wrapped across the sky, the Moon was but a sliver and the sky sprinkled with stars.
I walked until all I could see was my little home, floating in the dark space, its windows awash with light. It looked like a satellite, lost and far away, suspended in the void.
I stood there awhile and tried not to let the cold get to me. I waited and then waited some more, just absorbing my surroundings, until the world wasn’t just a long way away. It was gone…
Cast Adrift
There was a jolt, like a silent earthquake that left no physical impression. There was no crack in the earth, but there had been a change nonetheless – profound and intoxicating.
I was disconnected, cast aside and lost. I felt strangely without form, small, without substance and insignificant.
My subconscious struggled desperately to find a cultural reference point to cling to. David Bowman cast adrift in the final moments of 2001: A Space Oddysey, calling out to Bowie’s Major Tom.
Trailer in the fading light.
Yet, though I was lost, a speck on a rock in the darkness, something else was there. Something intangible was filling that space and it pushed a tickle up my spine.
It didn’t speak, it didn’t have a voice and there was no kindly, bearded old man in white. What was it? Well that’s the question isn’t it? What is left, when all we have built is gone?
That’s the BIG question of life, the universe and everything, as Douglas Adams once put it.
It was the feeling of utter isolation, of removal not just from society, but from the world and then finally being removed from my own sense of self.
The Universal Connection
It might have been a horribly disturbing experience but for the equally profound sensation of being a part of everything.
Let me clarify, I felt connected to EVERYTHING – the earth, the air, the stars, all of it. Of course, it’s a paradox. How can you feel empty and yet complete? I don’t know.
This is what preacher’s talk of – this light in the darkness. Those inclined might attribute it to God, the cynic would say it was madness.
To read of this, is not to know it. Instead, I would implore my fellow travelers to go in search of the darkness yourself.
I leave the final words to a more accomplished explorer than myself, Benedict Allen:
“To me exploration isn’t about conquering natural obstacles, planting flags…it’s not about going where no one’s gone before in order to leave your mark, but about the opposite of that – about making yourself vulnerable, opening yourself up to whatever’s there and letting the place leave its mark on you.”
What do you think of finding the divine in the darkness? Share your thoughts in the comments!
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9 Comments... join the discussion!
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Exactly the struggle that I faced re assimilating myself to western culture and the type of person I am in that culture. But people take heed of our changes that the gifts of travel bring about and it shapes ther peoples lives in ways we can't fully understand.
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Well said. It's hard to put those feelings into words.
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Really well written and spot on. Nice job, I look forward to more.
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Great piece. Describing an enlightened experience such as the one you've encountered is extremely tough to verbalize, but I think you've done a fantastic job in doing so. Looking foward to more posts
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Congratulations Jon!
Yes I remember you telling me all your caravan stories when you got back from NZ. Something I can relate to well.
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First of all, great article. Second, New Zealand seems to be the popular places to travel to in 2008. It's on my list of places to visit in 2009. Finally, the darkness can be a comforting place, especially when it's a starry night with a full moon like a Harvest or Wolf's Moon. There's something peaceful about looking up at the night sky and contemplating if life exists elsewhere besides on our lovely planet Earth. Many people believe we are all connected. And — can the "dark exist without the light?" I believe they are connected…
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enlightening post
well its so easy to disconnect when you are away from all the routine madness and chaos of living in the city. I am from Mumbai, and I feel its not possible to do this when you are trapped in your daily life. But as soon as you step out of this bustle, your mind always tends to switch off, and connect with the beauty of nature.
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Very relevant and interesting, the beauty of structureless entity not ofter exposed och explained as what it really is. I belive that the reason for this is the esoteric elements that almost every group that is focusing on the “good” aspects of darkness. The feeling och luminosity and power is corruptive yet enormously strengthening.
Keep it up, I see Prometheus flame in your writings!↵





















