Comments on: Traveling Solo: How to Tell Your Partner You Want to Travel…Alone

By: dragonforce

dragonforce — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 03:39:06 +0000

You guys just must be sure of loving 100%. ive been travelling alone for years now and still have the same girlfriend. she loves to travel we travel lot together last year for example we went to south america for 4 months together and it was great. next year however i want to go back to south east asia to see some places that i havent seen yet and for some diving. my gf is totally cool about it, she trusts me and i trust her. i think its all about trust. i have travelled alone for say..all together 2 years now, in a 6 years relationship. i have had many chances to do things with other women but somehow thats not the reason i travel. i travel because i like the adventure. i have the best gf in the world and if shes not there with me im loyal o her. i thikn thats all that matters, now obviously its difficult to trust each other so much but if u work on your relationship and if u travel together and see what travelling is all about then im sure its not a big deal!

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By: Brooke

Brooke — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 22:09:43 +0000

Lorraine, you just go – do it! The anticipation is always worse than the actuality. I travel without my long term live in boyfriend all the time, and actually lived in one city for nearly four years while we “lived together” in another, and we are both faithful and devoted to one another.

It works very well for us both because we both have a great need for alone time, and I appreciate that he stays home to take care of the animals. If the roles were ever reversed, I would happily do the same for him.

The only thing is that I’ve noticed my trips are far shorter now than they were when I was single – that is because despite myself, I always end up missing him terribly and want to go home. There is always a period of awkwardness whether I’ve been gone a week or twelve weeks, but the adjustment period fades quickly. He likes hearing my stories and I like sharing them.

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By: Lorraine

Lorraine — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 14:31:28 +0000

How do you reconcile the desire to travel solo for at least 6 months and also maintain a marriage to someone who does not understand and has no desire to travel. This is my dilemma….

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By: Emma

Emma — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 01:00:41 +0000

I think this is an amazing and sensitive article that covers the main problems of discussing the issue of ‘wanting’ to be apart without actually wanting to be apart. Me and my partner have travelled in the past and we are currently planning a big trip to S.E asia. We have enjoyed planning and scheming for ages and we are SO excited to see this part of the word together. However my partner, being far less travelled then me recently said he would like to go it alone for a portion of the trip, a point of view I totally understand and respect. We agreed that what we would do is set out in to the same destination and spend a few weeks exploring it independently. At the end of our time we would agree a place to meet and share our storied and pictures. Then we will see how both of us tackled the same place differently and the unique things we decided to do and see. Then we will take each other to the best things we saw and share that experience with each other, each of us leading each other to the things we had found and sharing our experiences. of course we have agreed on rules i.e. obviously no cheating, no red light district fun, no sharing beds with the opposite sex but as far as making friends and finding companions, I hope that we will both make amazing friends that we can introduce our partners to at the end of our solo travels!

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By: Melí

Melí — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 20:10:18 +0000

I wonder what happened to moondancer? Would love to hear her story!

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By: travelator

travelator — Wed, 13 May 2009 19:37:28 +0000

@moondancer: your relationship is over, save your boyfriend the heartache and just call it before you go. If you’re traveling alone in South East Asia you are going to be exposed to a whole lot of new and exciting experiences and you will inevitably end up sharing them with someone you meet on the road. Trust me, I know this. Once you get home your relationship and life won’t hold the same appeal.

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By: Moondancer

Moondancer — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 11:38:36 +0000

Next month I am leaving to go backpacking in Southeast Asia for 4 months without my boyfriend. We are now dating for 6 months. At first he was really unsure about my plans, because he was afraid that I might cheat on him or didn't want him anymore when I come back. But we have talked a lot about it and now he trust me and our relationship. We agreed to have contact as least once a week true email or phone, to keep connected and keep our love flowing. I really hope that everything will workl out fine so that I can travel and maintain this loving relationship.

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By: Jeannette

Jeannette — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 05:13:57 +0000

Me and my partner have been together for 2 years. I want to go travelling alone. He wants to travel too but is it consodered bad if I just want to go a month before him and then meet him over there. I am 100% in love with my partner and have no interest in 'cheating' and i understand that people change. I see it as something I want to do for myself. Something I have always wanted to do by myself. I want t put this as a challenge to myself. I want to know that the 'old' me is still in me! What do you guys think? Sorry if that sounded dumb!

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By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 20:06:45 +0000

I think it depends on your relationship. I have an aunt and uncle who have been married for over 40 years. They took separate vacations in addition to vacationing together; they still do this. Many years ago my aunt went on a 3 week trip to Europe. My uncle was just fine. Sometimes my uncle would be gone for a month on a fishing trip; my aunt was just fine.

When people get married they tend to "get rid" of their single friends and find married friends. Next to go is their own identities. Now wonder we have a high divorce rate in the U.S.A.

When people enter into a committed relationship, it becomes like a marriage. Men usually have restrictions on what they can and cannot do; women may experience the same thing. Just because you are a couple does not mean you have to give up "game night" or "solo travel."

I think the biggest hang up people have with solo travel is the "trust" factor. If you're questioning that aspect in your relationship, perhaps you are not ready to be in a relationship or the one you're in is not right for you. I would like to find a guy who enjoys travel as much as I do, but if that's the "one thing" we do not have in common, I'm not going to dismiss him. As long as he respects and trusts me when I travel by myself then our relationship will be just fine. If not, then he is not the guy for me.

Whether or not I come back from my travels a different person depends on where I go and why I am going in the first place.

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By: Koh Phi Phi

Koh Phi Phi — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 12:15:04 +0000

In my experience, absence doesnt make the heart go fonder unless the reationship is stainless steel strong. When you travel, you change: your priorities change, your point of views change, the way you look your life at "home" change, etc. And along that change you might discover new dreams within you that might be incompatible with your sentimental other, especially if she is not 100% into travelling and living abroad.

Be careful if you're thinking of telling your sentimental other that you want to travel alone, because relationships are not meant to develop through the distance: distance and time apart are THE WORST enemies for a relationship.

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