I think it’s more important to do what keeps you safe and doesn’t incite violence than it is to “stay silent, no matter what.” On the other hand, I’m sure it’s not a good idea to lose your cool when you are outnumbered, or to get into an altercation of any kind with anyone.

This is a grassroots problem, where men think it’s okay to call out to women because alot of women in the cultures in question act like it’s normal, or even expect it or (yes, even) like it. I enjoyed the article because it brings up an important point, but I don’t think that there’s a one-size fits all solution to piropos (flirtatious) comments on the street. And I do distinguish between the benign and the profane. I run for the hills with the latter, and make an educated decision with the former.

I’ll be interested to see what others have to say on the topic.

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I cannot say from experience, as I don’t live in S.America though have spent some time there and speak the language well, but I do live in Spain…a place that is also considered by many a macho, sexist country. That said, the rates of sexual violence here are far below those in North America. Ask a woman in N.America if she or someone close to her has been assaulted and the overwhelming answer is yes, whereas over here in Spain it would be the exact opposite. This is not saying it doesn’t exist, nor is it saying that things cannot be improved…but by failing to take into consideration that there are indeed cultural differences, you could fail into the trap that you mention, that of ranting and railing and sounding culturally superior.

The language itself and the patterns of speech used have to be taken into account too. How often do you hear grandmothers, aunts and even strangers in the street saying “oye que guapa estas hoy”…(you look beautiful today). Is this non-threatening simply because it is coming from females?

I can predict the rush of negative comments to what I have said, but all I want to point out is that a deeper cultural lens needs to be used when looking at issues like this. Imagine the picture someone would have of the U.S if their only reference point was rap videos?

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As far as flattery goes, I think men need to understand that what they think of as flattery doesn’t necessarily feel that way — this sounds an awful lot like the old “I wasn’t being racist, I was trying to make a joke” line. People need to take responsibility for how their actions come across. Do the five guys in the car that slow down to hiss at me while I’m walking on a dark street late at night only mean to flatter me? Maybe. That doesn’t change the fact that I’m planning six different directions to run if they stop the car. They need to realize their actions create real fear.

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While we DO need to acknowledge that not all cat calls are just flattery, we ALSO need to realize that sometimes that is EXACTLY what it is.

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And a perfect, powerful photo at the top, too!

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