Instead of comparing your life to others, make a list of what brings you joy.
Photo: jcheng
I found myself around two old friends in the past week who are living extremely hectic lives.
One friend is in law school, and barely has a moment to breathe, much less sleep or eat properly.
The other has a four-month-old baby to breastfeed, along with taking care of her 22-month-old, working a couple of night shifts as a nurse, finishing her Masters, and somehow cooking and cleaning.
Yeah…
I watched as they moved frantically around me and thought, “wow, I’m not doing enough in my life.” Even as the law school friend’s head just about hit the table at dinner, and I barely exchanged a word in four days with the friend who is a mother, I berated myself for taking too much time to, well…relax.
And then I thought about what “too much” looked like, and how it made me feel, in my 20s: extremely sick.
What You Love
Erica Johansson’s (not related to Scarlet, as far as I can tell) recent blog, Reminding Myself of What I Love, drove it home even further. Many of us can get caught up in what we see other people doing, and compare ourselves – positively or negatively – to how we perceive them.
It feels better to remind ourselves of what we love.
Instead, as Erica points out, it feels better (and I believe, gets us further) to remind ourselves of what we love in our life. The best part about her list is the fact that she names pretty simple things, ones most people can do pretty much anywhere in the world. Yoga, reading, writing, music, movies, water, driving, cycling, running, dancing, food, and museums made her cut.
As I sat on a long train ride Saturday, I thought about what would make my list, things I could do on the road as well as at home. This is what I came up with:
- Travel
- Writing
- Dance
- Being connected to others
- Driving a different car than my own
- Balancing food (having a little bit from every type of food, but knowing what feels best to my body to eat)
- Hiking
- Plain old excitement
I could go on, but I’ll stop there. The point of this little exercise, though, is palpable: thinking about what you love in your life takes away the need, or desire, to compare yourself to others.
And isn’t at least one of the points of life to find contentment with what you have?
What makes your list of things that you love? Share your lists in the comments.
Community Connection
Interested in finding out the guilty pleasures of Matador editors? Then check out Travel Guilty Pleasures: What’s Yours? And if you want to employ the simple pleasure of saying “Cheers!” just about anywhere in the world, How To Say “Cheers!” In 50 Languages is your go-to reference.
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9 Comments... join the discussion!
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Excellent post Christine. Also read Erica’s piece last week.
I suspect everyone has a long list as well so I’ll share another 5 (besides creative stuff I love):
- Giving (in every sense of the word)
- Savory food with the right amount of spiciness
- Problem solving
- Choosing my battles
- Volunteering
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What a nice article!
Thanks a lot↵ -
Great reminder.
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Great article! It’s nice to be reminded of things like this.
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A real eye opener. Thanks a lot for the great post and for sharing your thoughts. I’m sure my readers will love this as much as I did.
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Water
Travel
Dates with my husband
Swimming
Boating
Photography
Massages
Feeling no pain for a while
Leslie↵ -
Thank you for the article.
For me – sitting under a tree and breathing calmly.
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Ten quick ones as they come to me:
-Travel
-Watching my favorite sports
-A nice, cold beer in a comfortable setting
-Driving in the mountains
-Trying new or strange foods
-Looking at old pictures
-Writing a long email to a good friend
-A good head rub from my girlfriend…or mom
-Airports/plane rides
-Learning new vocabulary in any languageLast week, I was mugged on the same night I got a call from my parents saying my dog of 11 years had died. The tough part was that I’m living abroad and wasn’t able to pour out my heart to a close friend or family member. However, that same night I learned a new phrase in Thai and watched a fantastic soccer match; I was amazed at how much better I felt within hours of my double-dealing of bad luck. So, this is not only helpful when you find that you are comparing yourself to others but it’s just as beneficial to use as a cure for a bad day. Thanks for the reminder!
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