Staying away from home does not equal being a responsibility-phobe.
Photo: nattu
Everyone’s favorite traveling mover and shaker, Nomadic Matt, recently wrote about a question that many – no, most – long-term travelers eventually have to face: ‘What in the bejesus are you running away from?’
Matt states:
…For those who make being a nomad a way of life or people who just linger a bit too long before they make that final stretch home, we are accused of running away…People assume that we are simply running away from our problems- running away from “the real world.”
There is certainly an attitude in much of the world that travel is for fun and should be enjoyed as a break, but sooner than later, you need to ‘get back to work.’ If for some reason you decide that you want travel to be your work, then, well, you’re a) not taking responsibility for something, b) a trust fund baby, c) lazy and incompetent, or d) all three rolled into one.
This is certainly a topic we’ve explored from many different angles here at BNT. As Josh Kearns waxes poetic in The Tao Of Vagabond Travel, Western culture in particular insinuates the importance of “getting somewhere in life” (i.e. becoming a professional of some sort that makes a decent wage), and that unfortunately, very few people believe that experiencing life and its beauty is worthy enough in and of itself.
Travel Envy
Fact is, long term travel is not easy, nor is it something that many people can withstand. As Matt adds:
People may want to travel, tell you they envy what you do, wish they could do the same thing but really, they don’t. They are simply fascinated by a lifestyle so outside the norm.
Or, as Cameron Karsten points out in his piece, 10 Things To Learn About Yourself When Traveling Alone, to travel sometimes means taking on greater responsibility, something that not everyone is ready to do: “To take one’s life within one’s hands and have the freedom and maturity to mold it into shapes, forms and experiences of one’s desires is to embrace (responsibility)…(which) provides us with the power to change.”
Don’t forget, travel can sometimes be more healing than staying at home, as I pondered in Healing a Broken Heart Through Travel.
But, there is an important distinction between two types of travelers, as F. Daniel Harbecke notes is his piece, Response: Would You Be A Perpetual Traveler Or World Citizen? The perpetual traveler “discards the sense of home…for a more profound sense of privacy or non-affiliation,” while the world citizen “sees the entire planet as home, and one’s citizenship as only a historic formality.”
Neither one is better than the other, but both help in defining the ‘why’ of the long-term traveler – some people are not made to stay in one place. Something deep within calls them to roam the Earth, and no manner of guilt, skepticism or attempted coercion will persuade this person otherwise.
And why should they?
What are other reasons that long-term travel does not necessarily mean running away? Share your thoughts below.
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Travel has so much potential. I have traveled for at least one of the reasons listed below, including running away. I get a sense of accomplishment each time I pull my backpack onto my shoulder and take a single step in a new direction.
Reasons to Travel:
– Running toward someone or something new
– Discovery and exploration
– Running from a broken heart
– In search of someone who might possibly understand me
– running from frustration from so many who don’t↵ -
the question of whether or not someone is running away from something is a personal one. it might look from the outside that you’re running away, and maybe you even started your trip with that intention, but you’re also putting distance between you and the problem, giving you room to breathe and view it more objectively. not being able to get away if even for a little while often creates a tunnel vision so it’s hard to see a way of dealing with problems.
great article. it’s a topic that’s been coming up in travel blogs a lot lately, and yours does a good job of combining several opinions.
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Great write-up! And very necessary. It’s assumed that long-term travelers are running away from something. But in more rare instances, the question is what are they running TO. It’s a mistake to assume prolonged travel is only escapism.
Many times, you have no idea why you’re traveling in the first place, It’s something you have to figure out when you “meet yourself” on the walkabout, when your outer self figures out what your inner voice has been trying to tell you.
The “why” of it – that’s the deeper, introspective part of travel often drowned out by the external events. Getting into a “state of ask” isn’t only for the outer travel, but for the inner traveler. All you folks out there on the road: here’s to meeting yourself sometime soon.
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I would go with Daniel’s world’s citizen definition. The thing is: once you start once (going to live into another country), it becomes very easy to coninue doing it. I’ve alrady changed 4 countries and the only thing which can keep me now in one place is a family.
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i agree with most comments here. maybe iam running away. running away from the life others like… a house, a car, an experienced job, a partner, 2 times vacation per year if you re lucky… yes iam running away from that!
nice article
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Great sentiments! this piece hits the heart and soul of the eternal traveler. I can’t count how many times I’ve been asked what I’m running away from, or less-than-genuine replies of “i wish i could do that” then a turn of the head and return to the desk. Maybe I’m just curious, maybe I’m bored, maybe i’m intrigued, and maybe i’m running. All I know is with every colorful photo and descriptive travel story i feel the pull… and I cant, and won’t, sit still
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When you’re going down that path…the career/mortgage/2.2 babies/white picket fence path, you can’t see the world in front of you, you can’t see the endless options and possibilities. For you, life IS the career/mortgage/2.2 babies/white picket fence. I lived like this for almost 30 years of my life, accepting it, never questioning it, assuming that that was it.
So when you’re in that, you can’t comprehend anything that goes against that. So anyone who goes walkabout will eventually come back to that (hence the phrases like, “Good to get it out of the way before you have kids” and “Good on you for doing it while you’re young“).
Traveling, especially long term, breaks you out of that (yes, like waking up from The Matrix) and you realize that hey, there is NOT one way to live a life. It’s the most liberating feeling, I think. It’s very exciting, to not feel bound by anything. I’ve lived in both worlds the past few years, and I enjoy telling people about it in the hopes that I might (might) convince others to peer into that other world – although I am never preachy – I think
K, this is getting long now. Did I stay on point? To conclude, it’s almost a waste of energy to try to explain to people what and why we do what we do. I am just grateful that there is a whole community of like-minded people who understand.
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Ah yes, my favorite–”Do it before you have kids” or “Do it before you have a family you have to settle down for.” Sometimes I want to scream, “Who said I want kids? And who said I can’t take them with me if I do?”
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Great article. It is funny that when I traveled long term in my early 20s people did often ask me, “are you ever going to get a real job and settle down” or “what are you running away from?”
Then when I slowed down, started working a “real job” and got married, those same people asked me, “how come you are not traveling as much as you used to?”
I learned to stop hanging out with these people.
But like some other comments have said, it is all based upon the individual if they are in fact running away from something or just simply do not want to sit in a cubicle, get underpaid and overworked by some corporation and get 1 or 2 weeks paid vacation each year.
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Sweet. Nora Dunn was asking the same question last fortnight. Can’t recall the link, but a good convo none the less.
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Newton said for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. And sure this is a law of physics but it can be applied to travel as well. Is traveling running away from something or is it running towards something? A new experience, a chance, an adventure or whatnot. There’s several ways to look at the same picture.
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The catch here is that the moment-to-moment experience of travel is explained (by self and others) through the lenses of what’s gone and what might never be, while travel itself is all about Right Now.
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Are all long-term travelers running away from something? No, but some are. In a country of cubes and clocks, it’s common to feel a vague, uneasy desire to escape. In that stifled state, it’s easy to confuse the feeling with a desire to escape *from* [insert country here].So if you’re unhappy with your current life and hit the road, you might be escaping. But hey, some people need to escape. The question is, Can you now move towards crafting a lifestyle that keeps you relatively happy? And maybe as a bonus, keeps you on the road? (And if you dread coming home, does that mean you’re still running away?)
If you’re already living on your own terms at home, and things are working out, and *then* you decide to push beyond and travel…it’s likely you’re running towards something.
The tricky part is that it’s easy to swing back and forth between feeling trapped and feeling great. Could be a monthly, weekly, or even daily thing. So because at times we all feel up and down, I’d guess that most of our trips have some escape and some running towards. If you want to travel, and you’re aware of how your motivations are divvied up, and you’re cool with the ratio, then BOOM make it happen.
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I really enjoyed this article. I especially liked your comment on how most people don’t think that just living and enjoying life and all that it has to offer is enough, how true is that.
The funny thing about the idea of “running away” is that people who are on the straight and narrow, mortgage, marriage 2.2 kids etc. can be just as guilty of running away, however it doesn’t appear so obvious. If you have a passion for something riskier, something that might take you off the beaten track but you just continue full steam ahead on path that has been lined up for you, isn’t that too running away? I think in general all of us will be guilty of running away at some point, but what we run from and why are for varying reasons. If we all could see life as less about doing something and more about living in each moment, we wouldn’t need to run. As mentioned above, so many of us who do choose to make a life of traveling are encouraged to do so partly because traveling with exposure to new and different makes not living in the moment pretty damn difficult.
Thank you again for sharing your thoughts on this.
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I think it is easy for people to label others who live so far outside their definition of normal. I’ve been guilty of doing the same thing for both things I don’t want (living in the suburbs) as well as things I’m in awe of or too scared to do (like become a professional musician).
And we all run away in some form or another, even those living in houses with white picket fences.
They key is not whether other people think you are running away or not, it is whether YOU think you are running away and if you are okay with the answer. Because it is really no one else’s business.
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Great points about labels, Betsy. It is actually human nature and a function of our brain to label or put people into groups based on similar past experiences/learning. Otherwise, we’d have to assess every single person from scratch and it would take way too long (from a stay vs. fight or flight perspective) to determine who was trustworthy otherwise.
But sometimes it is good to reminded this is a part of who we are, and that we can counteract it within ourselves, so we don’t fall prey to the same thing that we get annoyed at/hurt by from others.
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It depends on the person. Some might be running , but many are living life like THEY want to and trying their best to be happy.
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In my case, I happen to be literally running away from “real life”.
Does BNT have a piece on something like “long term travel as a religion”? Sounds a little like what you’re alluding to here.
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Great read and spot on. I myself travel as I am running towards a life that does not include the Groundhogs Day-esque 40-hours a week.
Family still doesnt understand, but I cant expect them too as they have no intentions of moving (or even getting a passport).
Or in other words, perhaps “people who dont get it” are what I am running from.Time to call my psychiatrist…
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Hi … Long term travel is a way of life – for some, like me, my backpack is my home and there is no running away – BUT a running to … !
Moving towards new cultures, ancient sights, crazy adventures … new, fresh experiences, in which there is infinite in this life. And which the “real life” does not offer much of because of a static location and routine. (which often equals boredom, especially for me …)
So for me, it is about a constant fascination with all world cultures, history, scenery, etc; AND the total freedom and exicitement of doing what I want with my life and NOT being dictated to by societal norms (just cos most people need / want this, it is not for all). Live life as you want !
It is like a religion / philosphy / new lifestyle choice – which I personally term: the candy trail …
I am an extreme long-term traveler – from New Zeland – experiencing over 100 – mostly developing world, non-western – countries since 1988, from Iraq to Sierra Leone to Burma to Russia to Antarctica to Rapa Nui (Easter Island) to Colombia, etc …
21 years on the road … and more ahead.
Regards from remote Nebaj, here in Guatemala ( soon .. Cuba and then further south or east or …?)
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I really like that you pointed out that people are just jealous. when my brother graduated high school, he asked my parents for a computer. It was a practical gift. I went to Europe. The computer is now out of date, and my brother just seethes at all my memories.
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i love this website! i cant believe that i’m just discovering it.
i especially agree with the part of this article about feeling guilty about being the way we are and also that ’some people are not made to stay in one place. Something deep within calls them to roam the Earth, and no manner of guilt, skepticism or attempted coercion will persuade this person otherwise.’ that is exactly me- no matter what guilt my family employ, or pressure i put on myself- to settle down, finish school, or get a 9 to 5- it all feels meaningless- and there is always that need to roam. i am beginning to believe there is nothing wrong, and maybe even something very ‘right’ about it. we are alive.
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Who’s the judge? Who can say that “this person is traveling to run away from something and this person is not”?
And what’s running away? How about feeling stuck with a job and a life style you don’t like and not doing anything about it. But instead you’re going to the pub more than you really want to, watch TV or surf the net to much, aruge with your spouse and your kids or aquire some kind of stress induced illness (I’m not trying to blame anyone here or saying that taking responsability for your life is always easy).
And what’s taking responsability for your life? To me, it’s dealing with things that come up that’s stopping you from being in your full power, that’s hindering you from feeling alive and of being of help and support to others.As long as you’re doing this, what does it matter whare you are and what you do?
I have traveled long term with my whole family for years. Sometimes we’re on the road, sometimes we’re at our home base.
Sometimes I’m in a flow and things are easy and great, sometimes life is more challenging, both when I’m at home and when I’m traveling. Both are “easy” or “difficult” however you want to looka upon it.
You do something in some part of the world and it connects to something you do at home. Look upon your whole life/life style instead of when you’re “away” and when you’re “at home”.
To me, it’s all connected. It all IS!↵ -
I keep hearing this “running away” stuff. I think for many of us, that is absolutely NOT the case. We are running TO something. Adventure, freedom, exploring, tasting, meeting new people, seeing new cultures, etc.
I have been a nomad for 5 years now. Homeless and travelling full time. I have loved it! 76 countries so far, 77 will be next week in Portugal. What a fantastic time I have had.
But, I have decided to buy a home in Thailand. I am from the US and started this when I was 42 with an 18 month “holiday”. I am so excited about having a home again. I won’t stop traveling, but I will have a great base to recuperate and plan my next expeditions. I try not to travel to a country/region unless I can stay there a minimum of 1 month, 2-3 is preferred.
Travel is a great education. We would have less narrow minded, racist people if they traveled and saw the world through other peoples eyes. A very maturing experience.
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Interesting article, and excellent comments.
As someone who used to run away, I can assure you that most of us escapists stay still. Straight A students, workaholics, heavy drinkers, heavy partyers, artists often do it as a means to escape something. It so turns out that those avoidance tactics are a lot more socially acceptable (at least at some stages in your life) than long term travelling. The difference really is that we’re breaking the norm.I can be at home wherever I decide. I can feel grounded whether I’m staying put or not.
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Its all depands upon the frame of mind and thinking of a person..what i think is “movement is life and and be actionless is death”
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Interesting. I’m a Belgian myself, travelling in Europe for over a year now. I write a blog called Vluchtlijnen in Dutch which would literally translate as “escape lines” or “flight lines” (referring to the little stripes behind cartoon figures to indicated movement) and of course my motives (to let these movements crystallise on paper) have often been mistaken for escaping my obligation to work and to take part in that huge machinery called civilised society.
But the things is, the machinery is well-oiled. Life is easy growing up in a country as Belgium. And if i’m escaping from something, it is only this: I’m breaking out of the comfort zone, out of the protective womb that a ’society’ in reality is. I’m exposing myself to difference, that’s what I do.
And in this exposure I retrieve myself in more possible aspects than any surface of a “mirror” can show me.To summarise: when people ask me “aren’t you escaping something?” I just smile and move to another topic. The self-confrontation of living in a context of difference is just something that one can’t imagine. And above all, it’s about finding, not about escaping.
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Craig mentioned the article I wrote on a similar topic: a friend of mine challenged me by suggesting that full-time travel is an act of withdrawal.
Check out the results of that conversation here:
http://theprofessionalhobo.com/2009/09/is-full-time-travel-an-act-of-withdrawal/↵
