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Absolutes don’t work with us, because life is relative. So yes, we need the emotional gamut. In fact, I enjoy reveling in sadness and loneliness sometimes…listening to sad music.

I’ve been meaning to write a sort of follow up to that piece (a kind of the other side of the coin thing), but haven’t had time lately. Will have to get on that!

For some reason, I don’t think many cultures discuss happiness to the extent that we do. They just live their lives.

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http://www.thesunmagazine.org/issues/385/through_a_glass_darkly?page=1

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I think a lot of times we’re presented with these two extremes, deliriously happy or depressingly sad. And that’s it, either one of the other. To me having balance in life means being able experience whatever emotion you’re feeling, without chastising yourself for it.

I consider myself generally happy, but there are days when I’m not. And the worst thing to hear when you’re feeling melancholic is how you should be feeling happy. That usually brings on another emotion… rage.

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Lola, I too was in a melancholic mood yesterday (though nothing was wrong, and I wasn’t sad), which was certainly inspiration for contemplating this subject area.

Daniel, you hit the nail on the head taking the position that the issue is not about feeling emotion, but rather getting trapped in it.

Simone, absolutely, and I think poets and writers show us best what beauty can come from melancholy or even the dark edge of depression.

Nancy, it is so true that on the one hand, we often hear we should live in the moment, and on the other, that we should “attract” positivity all of the time. Too bad the two don’t always work together.

Jacqueline, I actually agree with you about death; in the article, I was speaking about it more from Todd May’s and most of Western culture’s point of view (that there is one life). I believe this is just one go-around, and we are hear to learn as much as we can from it.

Leigh, fantastic, fantastic point – people lose their passions and desires in the day-to-day grind, and often have a hard time finding, or even looking for, them again. Imagine a world that made sure we tasted at least a little of our passions every day?

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I recently saw Barbara Ehrenreich on the Daily show talking about her latest book “Bright Sided” where she specifically spoke about how telling someone, particularly if they’re dealing with a serious illness like cancer, to try to see the positive actually does more harm than good.

I also hear people say all the time how they feel they should be happy. They have everything they need in life, a good family, good friends. They’re safe, comfortable, etc, but they’re just not happy. And yes, sometimes the cause of this is the idea that they should be happy all the time, I think many times it stems from people living a life without properly tending to their libidos.

I don’t mean sex, I mean passion and desire, which can relate to many things other than sex.. It’s so easy to fall into patterns in life where you’re doing what you should be doing, but if there’s no passion, it is very difficult to be happy.

Thanks for this article, Christine. It obviously brings up many varied and interesting threads for discussion.

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It should be okay to feel whatever you feel without having to apologize for it.

Accept it, on some days you will feel sad no matter what. Just like at times you’ll be full of optimism and joy despite the situation. You’d have to be a cyborg for it to be otherwise.

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