Photo: earthfrommybrain
Sometimes, escaping the 40-hour-work week can lead to feelings of guilt and seeming self-centered.
I feel like bopping myself over the head for this feeling of guilt that has crept up over me.
My husband and I worked hard for five years to save money for our round-the-world trip, and we continue to work while we are on the road to keep our resumes active. When we were busy traveling, I was thrilled we quit our jobs, sold our house, and meandered about the world. We love the flexibility that comes with travel, the ability to work and play when and where we want.
Yet, as soon as we came home for the holidays, a wave of guilt flooded over me. I see my family and friends working 40-hour weeks, making steady paychecks, and contributing to their communities, and wonder whether we are being selfish by investing so much time and money in ourselves.
The dictionary defines “selfish” as being “concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself” or “seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.” Isn’t that what long-term travelers do?
Staying Home Vs. Exploring the World
Photo: Dipanker Dutta
When we work, we contribute to the economy and the community; by traveling long-term, we stop contributing to both. The suffering American economy could use the money we spend on our house, our car, and food. The volunteer activities we used to be involved in fell to the wayside.
Aside from our impact on our home country, we harm cultures abroad by creating economies oriented toward tourists and introducing our Western insights and habits into those societies. For example, cultural dances traditionally performed within a certain community for festivals or events, like the Maori haka or Masai dance rituals, are now performed every evening to gaping audiences and buffet diners for tidy sums of money.
So, is long-term travel selfish? Simple answer: yes. We sacrifice the values placed highest by Western society – having a steady job and income, house, and family – to satisfy our individual pleasures.
Selfishness May Be Good
I can quell a bit of my guilt by looking to Ayn Rand’s belief that selfishness is a virtue and:
The moral purpose of a man’s life is the achievement of his own happiness. This does not mean that he is indifferent to all men, that human life is of no value to him and that he has no reason to help others in an emergency. But it does mean that he does not subordinate his life to the welfare of others, that he does not sacrifice himself to their needs, that the relief of their suffering is not his primary concern.
By choosing to leave traditional paths and plans, we challenge our belief structure and strengthen our resolve in ourselves. As Rand explained, “[the] [r]ationally selfish man – a man of self-esteem…is the only man capable of holding firm, consistent, uncompromising, unbetrayed values. The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone.”
Self-doubt kills the motivation to make any change. Thus, by continuously changing our perspectives and locations as we travel, we get rid of our self-concerns and increase our self-esteem.
Is High Self-Esteem a Bad Thing?
Photo: bfick
Though we have always been taught that we can do anything if we believe in ourselves, Jean Twenge argues that our generation – people born between the 1970s to the 1990s – are suffering because of that reinforced notion that “the self comes first.”
She names us the Me Generation because we have “never known a world that put duty before self, and believes that the needs of the individual should come first.”
Though we “enjoy unprecedented freedom to pursue what makes us happy,” she argues that our high self-esteems and high expectations result in depression, anxiety, cynicism, and loneliness when those expectations are not met.
She claims that the pressure of self-reliance can be stressful to many young people when they realize that they are on their own in a difficult world with few chances for success.
However, unlike most cubicle dwellers, the long-term traveler usually does not have high expectations. Few (if any) of us expect to get famous or rich – actually, most of us expect to spend money traveling and budget appropriately.
Thus, even if we become more confident because we travel, that confidence does not lead to the depression that many others in the Me Generation find because the traveler has voluntarily given up many high expectations in search of a nonconformist lifestyle.
Most long-term travelers are instead looking for that elusive “happiness” through experiences.
Most long-term travelers are instead looking for that elusive “happiness” through experiences, whether that means sitting in a café drinking the perfect cappuccino or climbing the peaks of Mt. Kilimanjaro.
Then again, it could be that all of these philosophical principles hide the unvarnished truth: that long-term travelers are selfish and go against the moral ideal of altruism. And, if that is the case, I guess I don’t mind being considered selfish because I am so happy traveling long-term.
Do you think long-term travel is selfish? Share your thoughts below.
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Sure it is selfish in a way. But it is nothing wrong with that. If you honour yourself others will benefit from it. Or like my wife wrote on our blog:
“To realize your dream of traveling, seeing and experiencing the world, spending time with people- new and old friends and enjoying life – in other words; of living, is not a selfish thing. It’s a way of giving of yourself to the world.
If you live your dream, your passion, and feel happy, creative, present – alive – people will be positively affected by you. People will see that you dare, that you do, that you let go (or that you take charge), that you LIVE and hopefully, they will also start to make reality of their dreams.”
The whole blogpost is her: http://www.extendedworldtravel.com/why-travel/can-you-allow-yourself-to-follow-your-dream-of-long-term-travel
Doing things you don’t want just to support the community is not going to benefit the community, yourself or anybody else… You can do better good by respecting yourself and your desires.
Cheers
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When it comes down to it, we are the only ones in this world who can ensure our own happiness.
If volunteering and working in your home community brings you joy, please do it.
If traveling the world for months at time brings you joy, please do it.
Trying to please other people and live up to other people’s expectations is the biggest cause of unhappiness in the world, in my opinion.
All this analysis of what OTHER people do is a waste of time. I found those that people who judge long term travelers are usually the ones who are too scared to do it themselves and just want to rain on someone else’s parade.
When we live according to someone else’s ideals and not our own, we are not being our true selves, which is a ghastly disservice to ourselves and the people around us. We are not giving our best to the world.
That is the WORST kind of selfishness there is.
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Great question Akila! It’s one that could be debated for hours!
Whilst I understand your perspective it relies on the assumption that acts of Altruism at home are more significant than acts of Altruism on the road. Likewise contribution to a foreign economy is less significant than contributing to your home economy.
The key point I feel is that your situation, be it travelling or living a ‘normal’ life is at the end of the day irrelevant to the contributions you as an individual can make. The contributions may differ if you’re on the road but they can still be positive altruistic contributions none the less!
You’ve only got to look at the amount of people who stay home, committing to the daily grind and offer no contribution to their community. Primarily because they are so frustrated by the inescapable prison they feel trapped in.
Likewise there are travellers out there who just move from one location to the next like Locust. Feeding on every available resource without ever offering anything in return.
Some people are driven to travel, Some people are driven to stay home. At the end of the day the choice you have to make as an individual is what lifestyle suits you so as to be able to contribute in the best fashion. If that’s long term travelling then it’s long term travelling. There is nothing selfish about that!
Again great article! I’m interested to here other people’s views!
Cheers,
Adam↵ -
Very interesting question to consider, so thank you for this article…
I agree about encouraging a tourist-based economy, but when I travel I personally prefer to really engage in a community and stay off the beaten path when it comes to typical tourist activities. I think educating travelers about “authentic” cultural experiences is best, and there are some volunteer travel opportunities that offer a cultural and educational experience when it comes to the world while also contributing to the environment and local culture, so I would like to see more of these programs flourish and stay on this track.
Being aware of this very important question is a first step, so just the act of discussing it contributes to more conscientious traveling.
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I mistakenly posted this above, so here it is again, in response to the actual comment:
Adam, I am so glad you brought this up because it is something I originally put in the article but I had to dump it because I didn’t have space. I do make an assumption in this article that contributing to my “home” community is more important than contributions I can make abroad primarily because of the time factor. I can do a great deal more in months and years of living in one place than I can if I am wandering around every month or so. On the other hand, if I decided to work in a volunteer organization in India for a year or so, I wouldn’t feel the same sort of guilt, I think.
And, Karin, though I try very hard to be a conscientious traveler because I think that we have a responsibility to other communities when we travel, I wonder whether my efforts to be conscientious really matter in the long run. In Ranthambore tiger reserve, in India, my husband and I specifically stayed in a sustainable eco-friendly hotel that gave money back to the tiger reserve, but hundreds of others stayed in typical motels directly outside the park, threatening the climate and environment of the nature reserve. I guess it is the same question we always face – can one person change the world?
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I’m pleased to see some great discussions coming forth from this article!
I’d like to respond to the question can one person make a difference in the world? Again we have here a question that could be discussed endlessly! My take is that not only can one person make a difference, but it’s the only way change can truly come about.
One person making their own little contribution is the fundamental component of change! It’s the grass roots if you will. Without individual contributions change is nothing more than fruitless rhetoric.
When one person strives to make a difference, it often inspires those around them to make a difference. It’s a viral effect similar to social media. Indeed take a look at the recent Facebook ‘Bra Colour’ breast cancer awareness programme or the RageFactor protest against X Factor in the UK!
The challenge with all of these ’causes’ is pushing on. Taking what is often the raising of awareness and turning that into real meaningful action. That’s something I don’t think anyone has really got a handle on thus far. But it’s important to remember all of these things started as an idea in one person’s head!
One person can make a difference. One person must make a difference!
Cheers,
Adam↵ -
Alyssa, This is a great point so I don’t think you were rambling at all! You are absolutely right because when we travel we are educating ourselves about the world and challenging our perceptions. I don’t think anyone would consider going to college to be selfish because we expect that college graduates will improve society through their education. So, if we equate long-term travel to a type of post-graduate education, then, maybe we long-term travelers will give back to society (our own and others) in a different way once we finish our traveling education.
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I once met a psychologist who suggested a biological imperative for we restless wanderers, as I explain here.
It was in response to this post by established travel blogger Nomadic Matt, called “Everybody says I’m running away”.
I think the relatively small number of hard core travellers can perform an important service sometimes. We bring news from places that are overlooked or that the media is not interested in; and can help promote understanding and cultural exchange.
I think if more people could spend time in other cultures, and learn that there are several sides to every story, the consequent empathy would make for greater international understanding.
Many of us must have said at some time or other: “Er, actually I’ve been to country X and they’re not all mad/bad/dangerous” or the classic “THEY say the same thing about US”?
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Akila, I love your article. This discussion has come up many times with my friends to the point that I recently started a blog talking about living and long-term travel abroad. Feel free to check it out at:
http://blog.traveling4yfb.com/↵ -
i think you really bring up a great discussions here. many things could be said, and many might said travelers like us are running away but i do not feel selfish at all. i worked very hard for years for having such a great opportunity to travel around the world and altough i am currently not “financially” contributing to my community i think i am contributing to the world opening my minds to new prospectives. i truly believe that our community of travelers could hopefully change some worldwide stereotypes and, with times, we could all collaborate in every aspects of life and works better
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Hi … greetings from Nicaragua – where I am presently traveling but have been a global nomad since 1988, traveling over 100 countries (mostly non-western) … so, I feel the urge to add my opinion, as an (err…) expert …
By definition – it is a self-absorbed pursuit … BUT
That is not to say you can not help out others as you travel: stay in local guesthouses, eat at street stalls or local restaurants, tip in countries that expect it – EG: Latin america, shout locals many drinks in bars, donate to charities, chat and inpart knowledge and have fun with others who have no idea of your background or the “true realities” of the WESTERN WORLD (not the version they know from TV crap). Simply, be generous; be real; have fun.
For me: Endless travel does not end with just the sense of “me”, taking from the world, but giving back as much as I can … as a traveler, forever on the road.
Regards – Michael Robert Powell (from New Zealand) : AKA – the candy trail … on the road across the planet, since 1988
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