Photo: h.koppdelaney

The usual collection of travel quotes tend to focus on inspiration and reflection. These, however, are meant to tickle your funny bone, and remind you of the inherent humor of the journey.

1. “When you come to a fork in the road….take it” – Yogi Berra

2. “Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.” – George Carlin

3. “If you’ve seen one redwood tree, you’ve seen them all.” – Ronald Reagan

4. “I’ve been to Paris. And it ain’t that pretty at all.” – Warren Zevon, from the song Ain’t That Pretty At All

5. “Too often travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely lengthens the conversations.” — Elizabeth Drew

6. “Another well-known Paris landmark is the Arc de Triomphe, a moving monument to the many brave women and men who have died trying to visit it.” – Dave Barry

7. “The major advantage of domestic travel is that, with a few exceptions such as Miami, most domestic locations are conveniently situated right here in the United States.” – Dave Barry

8. “Thanks to the interstate highway system, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.” – Charles Kuralt

9. “The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.” – Russell Baker

10. “You can find your way across this country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars.” – Charles Kuralt

11. “You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.” – Yogi Berra

12. “Do not insult the mother alligator until after you have crossed the river.” – Old Haitian Proverb

13. “Canada is the vichyssoise of nations – it’s cold, half French and difficult to stir.” – Stuart Keate

14. “On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.” – Lewis Grizzard

15. “Gaiety is among the most outstanding features of the Soviet Union.” – Joseph Stalin

16. “San Francisco is like granola. Take away all the fruits and the nuts and all you have left are the flakes.” – Unknown

17. “France is the only country where the money falls apart and you can’t tear the toilet paper.” – Billy Wilder

18. “Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.” – Steve Martin

19. “Climbing K2 or floating the Grand Canyon in an inner tube. There are some things one would rather have done than do.” – Edward Abbey

Always look out for the hostage Buddha / Photo: antwerpenR

20. “There is science, logic, reason; there is thought verified by experience. And then there is California.” – Edward Abbey

21. “If you are going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill

22. “I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places”. – Henny Youngman

23. “Two great talkers will not travel far together.” – Spanish Proverb

24. “Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.” – Yogi Berra

25. “I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad.” – George Bernard Shaw

26. “I had a prejudice against the British until I discovered that fifty percent of them were female.” – Raymond Floyd

27. “Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.” – Unknown

28. “When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money”. – Unknown

29. “Knock Knock! Who’s there? Tibet! Tibet who? Early Tibet and early to rise!” – Aha Jokes

30. “Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” – Mark Twain

Add your favorite funny travel quotes in the comments section below!

This gives me a chance to sell a few photos and chit-chat with the general public. I rarely sell much, but I have a lot of fun. Invariably, some of the passers-by will inquire as to what type of camera I use.

My usual reply is that I have a middle-of-the-line point and shoot. That satisfies about half of the inquirers. The rest, of course, need to know brand, make and model and all the other technical ins and outs of my digital shadow catcher.

Sometimes, I wonder if maybe I should have taken up painting instead, so that I wouldn’t have to entertain all those silly questions!

The Fantastic Funsaver

In my bag of tricks at these sidewalk art shows, I usually have a few small 5 X 7 photographs that I made with one of those Kodak FunSaver cameras. That usually gets the subject away from the technical end of the spectrum, and back to the nitty-gritty of photography as a creative process.

For someone who is not familiar with the Kodak Funsaver, it is a one-time-use camera. One camera costs less than ten dollars, and is nothing more than a bright yellow cardboard box with a plastic lens, a very simple film-advance mechanism and 24-exposures of Kodak negative film.

After you expose the film, you take the camera to a photo lab. They process the film, make some prints for you and send the box camera back to Kodak, where it gets reused.

Thanks to the sensitive nature of Kodak color-negative film the camera gives you decent pictures under most daylight conditions.

Back To Basics

Nothing could be better suited in helping someone understand the fundamentals of composing a good picture than shooting with a Funsaver.

By using this primitive camera, everything is stripped down to bare basics, and you are forced to work from the ground up in building your picture.

After a few outings with this camera, you will learn to search more for a picture. No close-up view, no telephoto – now you must gaze at every possible image in a different way.

Maybe you need to move farther to the right or maybe closer to the subject. Perhaps there are interesting clouds in the sky and you will concentrate on that area, just leaving a thin skyline of trees or buildings at the bottom.

Or you could go in the other direction and leave the sky out completely. Since the lens is equivalent to a slight wide-angle, chances are you will be moving closer to your subject.

The possibilities are endless. You will learn a great deal about searching for a good photo. A teacher could not give you better advice.

Basic Options

You don’t have to use a returnable camera to get back to the basics.

You might want to try a Polaroid Camera or a pinhole, or even a Diana camera, which is so popular with the fine art people. The results will probably be along the same line. Try one for a few days, a few weeks or even a few months and record the change of seasons.

Another lesson, learned from these cameras, is to shoot less. That way each picture is more valuable and you will spend more time planning the composition, the angle and lighting.

Digital has taught us that we can shoot huge amounts of high quality pictures, delete what we do not like and then go back and shoot a whole bunch more. Some of the more advanced modern cameras even have a system where you can knock off ten or more shots back to back like a machine gun.

Now put that aside and go back to a system where you might have only a dozen or fewer pictures that you can make in one day.

That limitation changes everything. It forces you to look at the visual world longer and with a more discerning eye – which is just what you should be doing anyway.

Shooting people with a basic camera is easier too. Who’s going to turn down a Funsaver portrait?

The subject might drop his guard a little once he know his face won’t be appearing on the front page of the National Enquirer or the Village Voice. Besides, the color print film is made to render good skin tones, so you cannot go wrong in that regard.

So if your travels take you to the French Riviera or the streets of London and you come across someone wandering around with a bright yellow box in his hand, smile!

Do you have any tips for using basic cameras? Share in the comments!

Henri Bauholz studied color photography at Syracuse University and has had numerous gallery shows in Louisiana and Texas. Now living in Maine, he writers part-time and blogs at ZenLoonatic.

Sometimes, I get so involved in taking abstract photographs that I forget that there are other people out there.

Moving figures and images of pedestrians going about their everyday business can add a lot of dimension to your travel pictures; and getting a good picture, while on the road, may not be as difficult as it sounds.

This is not the same as portraiture, but instead, this type of photography derives from the advent of the lightweight rangefinder and SLR cameras that were developed after the second World War and the subsequent arrival of spontaneous street photography, by such luminaries as Henri Cartier-Bresson, Robert Frank and Lee Friedlander.

The first step compelling street photography is to go to a notable and newsworthy event. This could be anything from a rock concert at Glastonbury to a soccer match or a street parade.

Take a close look at the surroundings and see if you can come up with photos of people doing actions like twirling a baton or waving to the crowd. Take some time to conceive the picture so that the person in the photograph has space to move about within the frame of the image.

Cultivate the Zen

When you go out onto the street, you need to take this relaxed attitude with you. Try walking by yourself and just wander – paying attention to the buildings and the landscapes. Shoot some pictures of these places first and then if you see some human activity that interests you, snap them too.

A relaxed, cheerful and honest attitude will help you blend in with the locals. You might see two people talking with an interesting tree or building in the background. That tree is important, too. You are not trying to do portraiture; that requires a different tact. You are just interested in the everyday rhythm of people going about their business in the context of the local landscape.

Also, it seems that the more intensely you are into the creative process, the less intrusive you will be. This attitude could be easily paraphrased as the Zen of photography.

As your mental concentration and awareness of surroundings increase, you might have the slight air of someone who is meditating. Most extraneous sensual information will be blocked out by your mind, so you can concentrate on the immediate task at hand.

The alignment of the subjects for your picture should be the most important thing in your mind. Take and idea and go with it. You might like where it takes you.

Shoot Solo

Another important thing is to avoid taking pictures while participating in a group tour. If you are going to get any unique pictures, you need to be by yourself, or traveling with just one or two other people.

Tour groups are great for learning about the history of a place, but they will hinder your attempts at candid, non-invasive photography.

Also of importance is the type of camera that you use. With the advent of digital cameras, there are many light and compact point-and-shoot cameras available that still deliver a high resolution image that can be blown up to an 11 X 14 size or larger.

With one of these small cameras in hand, it’s much easier to blend into the crowd. A big expensive camera with an equally impressive gear bag may be great for chasing J-Lo around the night-clubs in an attempt to get that one shot for the pulp mags, but it’s an unwelcome attention-getter on the street.

Don’t get so lost in the Zen of photography that you forget to interact with people. It’s sometimes easy to get lost in space behind the viewfinder, but the more you interact with the general populace, the more you will be accepted for what you are: a photographer.

Keep shooting, and good luck.

Henri Bauholz studied color photography at Syracuse University and has had numerous gallery shows in Louisiana and Texas. Now living in Maine, he writers part-time and blogs at ZenLoonatic.